The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
At the end of my relationship with the ex A I was absolutely over responsible for him and totally under responsible for myself. My desire to connect with others often means I blur the line with what I need to do to take care of myself. As I've said a number of times taking care of me is really foreign to me. My life is no longer the dramatic counterpart it once was. At the same time I'm far from really being active and on track with my plans. I can make a catastrophe out of nothing.
Right now I feel my plate is far too full dealing with this stolen check issue. I also feel apprehensive about the holidays coming up. I know last year I totally lost myself in taking care of others so I am willing to pull back but at the same time I do want to connect with others and not feel taken for granted ( I cooked last year and no one who attended offered to even wash a cup!) Changing all this is one day at a time as my sponsor puts it and feels incredibly alien.
oh yes can I relate to this - bein gacoa, I have done both, being over responsible and utter irresponsible. You're right, u can only be responsible for you.
The Holidays are stressful for us all, and we do for others, we try so hard to have evrything just right. Having any expectations whatsoever, is the killer - we just cant do that to ourselves, we're always disappointed. This year do what u want, for the sake of doing it and expect nothing in return - that way u dont get over burdened or resentful and can just enjoy it.
I swear, if I werent a vegetarian, I would happily go out for a turkey dinner - that just seems easier and everyone can have fun, no one is doing "all" the work. Besides all that food for everyone, man they add up!
Take care of YOU, whatver that looks like.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
My friend, you have come so very far....sometimes seems like two steps forward ten steps back...Take your time do what you need to to for you dear friend.
I have to go from not doing the normal which is giving myself away to being very thoughtful about who I give to, when I give and what I expect back. Can't say I like it but its better than exhausting myself.
