well it has been a very hard few weeks for me from meeting my sponsor for the first time to chat and now made a complete connection by braving my first phone call to her.

I have always found it hard to trust anyone to open up and this now feels so natural.  I feel so lucky to have this program and the magnificant tools attached.

I'm now focusing on step one for a wee while now I had been looking at step four thinking I had already tackled the first three.  Boy was I wrong lol and it really makes me giggle as it's no wonder I was so confused by it.

I have learnt something very interesting about me through this experience.  All of my life I have dived into situations head first without thinking first whether it be work/relationships etc and I now realise it's best the learn from the start this time being step one. 

This all came to light through a discussion I got into with some people on the bible which guess what I have never read.  Hahaha and boy did I think I knew using al-anon outlook which has nothing to do with what was being discussed. 

One person said girl cut you coat acording to your cloth.  I cannot believe how much I got from that phrase as I didn't see what I was doing for so long.  It also means for me in a way to accept what I have and use it to progress forward it's very valuable itself.

Awareness is a special gift and now, I feel I am starting to detatch with love after this revelation.

Peace has come over showing me that everything is OKAY and the heavy emotions too PASS.  Time to keep the focus on ME and I'm starting to feel the LOVE and compassion for MYSELF.

Thanks people for letting me share