The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
As many of you know my brother in law was arressted for making meth this week. As he sits in jail w/o bail, my sister is hysterical. I have tried for many years to get her into Alanon, but to no avail.
This week has drained me. I'm am going back to Step 1 with a few changes. I am powerless over my sister and her lack of recovery. I am detaching and not taking any more hysterical phone calls from her. If she doesn't want recovery than so be it. She knows I would take her. I am turning her over to her HP and that's that. I will always be there for her if she needs me, but not in this way. It is not healthy for me. I did not work this hard at my recovery for it to be sabotaged in this way. Of course I will always be there for the girls. I can't be of service to others if I don't take care of myself. I am detaching with love from this situation.
This is the last day of my 4 days off. I needed it after back-to-school. I am screening my phone calls. I put out my fall decorations. The house feels warm and cozy. I intend to enjoy it. Time to watch more football, eat chilly and chase Pipers up the tree. It is a glorious day out. This is a real Piper Kitty weekend. Much love and blessings to you and your families. Love to the Alanon critters too.
Live strong, Karilynnn & Pipers Kitty
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
You are such a wonderful person......I will pray for your sister and her girls.....the girls are going to need you more now than ever and how lucky are they to have such a wonderful Aunt...
Taking care of your serenity is so important, happy to see you doing this........
GO STEELERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE Y A, Andrea
Aloha Karilynn...You are experienced and aware. You cannot give to someone a program they will not participate in. Detaching does not require not loving without condition. Thanks for the share...still won't result in a kitty. LOL
It is situations & times like these that our program gets even stronger - good for you for realizing and catching it in the bud. I did some of the same things with my mother ~ not interested in recovery/therapy and I was no longer interested in jumping on the chaos/hysteria bandwagon. Way to set boundaries & stick to 'em. I simply had to accept her where she was & figure out what I needed to do for me & still be supportive/loving without being on the merry go round.
Im glad u got all autumn decorated and are enjoying this beautiful season. Ive noticed in the last few days, the leaves already changing color over night.
Kiss Pipers and enjoy!!!
__________________
Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
I, too have a non recovery sister- I call her a "dry drunk" because even though she sobered up, she still has the "isms" that go with being an alcoholic, herself and she, too was married to an alcoholic- Her abusiveness, rage and just chaos and drama wore me out!
I had to detach from her- When we were children, she brutalized and beat me and I cannot think of any joyful memories of her my entire life- Only pain comes to mind when I think of her.
Before recovery, I would just "put up with her abuse" and forgive and allow her back into my life only to be abused again!
Finally, after enough recovery under my belt, I just let go- I quietly left the "scene" of all the chaos and drama
Not long ago she sent me an abusive email wanting to know why I do not respond to her cell text messages about her cancer re-occurring? I just glance over the email, seeing enough abuse, and hit delete! No dialogue- No arguing- No keeping it on going- I just hit the delete button and blocked her addresses
I find that toxic people there is no point in keeping them open in my life if they never respected my boundaries in the first place- What drove me to detach from her and separate myself from her was the blatant disregard for my boundaries- I had before I detached, said that I do not text as I hate the slowless of it and also a while back I had said that if I am not worth a phone call, yes, I would accept emailing but once in a while as I do a lot of typing in regards to my business and recovery- She never regarded any of it and accused me of being selfish- My response was to quietly let her go-
I still get texts from her in regards to her cancer coming back and even though I would never ever wish that on anyone, I just have nothing in the tank for her- She has absolutely destroyed any desire within me to have anything to do with her- I feel sad! We could have been friends had she treated me like a human being- I pray for her to get into alanon and I don't believe that will ever happen, so I have a choice! Keep going back and forth with her abuse and my having my boundaries violated or just walk away and give her over to her Higher Power- I did the 2nd choice- I have peace in my life- My stress level is less- My own anxiety problems are not making me so sick as often- I am taking care of me- And part of taking care of me is either distancing myself from toxic people, or, last resort, just giving them up to their Higher Power as I have had to do!
I do hope that your sis will get into alanon for her own sake and serenity!
Neshema
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I am screening my phone calls. I put out my fall decorations. The house feels warm and cozy. I intend to enjoy it. Time to watch more football, eat chilly and chase Pipers up the tree. It is a glorious day out. 
This is a real Piper Kitty weekend. Much love and blessings to you and your families. Love to the Alanon critters too.
