The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
When I first came to al-anon, I could not even meet the eyes of the people in the room. I cried silently, in fear, and had so much resentment for even being there. I hit bottom. We talk about A's hitting bottom. I hit mine. At the time I hit the al-anon doorsteps, I didn't recognize who I had become. LITERALLY. I just knew I hated the feelings I was feelings. I hated that meeting too, and it took me weeks to get the courage to go back.
When I hit bottom at the beginning of the year, I remember writing in a small lined notebook one page of things I wanted in life. I was so depressed I didn't know what I even LIKED in life. My counselor asked my AH and I that and he nor I could answer. I knew that was a problem, so I went home and wrote out a "goals" list on one sheet of paper.
They were pretty simple. Spend more time with my kids, get a part time job in a field I liked, make some $$, etc.
What has happened since I have joined al-anon is truly amazing. I credit al-anon, my HP, counseling, and a marriage weekend, for some really wonderful things that have been happening. Is my life perfect? NO, Is anyone's life perfect?
I looked at my list a few weeks ago and without consciously thinking about it, I have accomplished EVERY thing on it, except loosing some weight. Somewhere in all of this I gained 20 pounds. And you know what? I don't like it, but I'm not going to stress about it either. I WILL eventually loose it, when I'm ready.
I have found some wonderful spiritual women that are mentoring me in a business that I've wanted to learn about for the past 4 years, for FREE. They all do very well, and I hope and pray to too. One of the reasons, I felt so hopeless before is I didn't feel I had the option to leave. I had no money. If I am sucessfull and I WILL be sucessfull, I will open that door if I ever need it again, but interestingly, with the help of al-anon, my situation with my AH (dry drunk) has changed. He still struggles, but we have grown closer, so I don't know what tomorrow brings, but I'm so blessed and thankful to my HP for today.
Al-Anon has given me tools for not only the alcoholics in my life, but so many other situations in my life it's amazing.
Great program work, sometimes its good to have a little look back over our shoulder to see how far we've come. I too made a little list on a small notebook in January. I have it next to me now, 6 items, all still a work in progress. I couldnt change this stuff over night but the list has kept me heading in the right direction.
You are so right the tools we learn in Al-Anon reap benefits in all areas of our life. Sounds like your HP has sent you some angels to help you on your way.
That was a beautiful share straight from you soul...way to go.....the ticket is to make ourselves feel as good as we can on our own, face it we all want to share our lives with someone, before my hub got so caught up in addiction heck we shared everything.
As I can see you are making the best with just you....huge step....I have had to do this as well and you know what eventually....you'll wake up....smile....feel peace and think wow what was I missing....
