The material presented
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Hello Everyone! After many days of fussing and fighting and saying i wanted to move out and so on..i just had enough. Last Friday night, I begged him to leave. I called a friend of his and told him that I am serious and I needed his help. I needed a witness to what I was about to tell him, cause he (my A) thought i was full of bs and never believed me. It was 8pm Friday night when he decided to come home. He had been home from work for 3 days and he and I hardly had any communications. I had enough. I told him that it was time for him to move out. I was not moving out cause I am not the one who brings the poisin to our marriage. I asked him to go. He did.
I'm really happy inside because I am looking forward to a happy future with a healthy person. I don't have anyone else..i'm just looking forward towards a future w/o an alcholic and drug addict.
Do I get sad? sure i do Do I get angry? yeah, mainly at myself for staying so long Do I have any regrets? no, its a waste of time Am I gonna be okay? you bet i will
Aloha Sincerely...Boy was that a very difficult part of recovery for me, making a rational decision and following thru on it. I was the one that left and leaving was more beneficial to me than the fear of where to go now and do next. Didn't matter cause anything was better I thought until I came to understand I was a large part of my problem and would continue to duplicate it as normal. For me different was not healthy. For me I always ended up with what I didn't want even after I was in recovery for a while. I learned that regardless of how I denied it I was certainly a part of my problem. After several failed post marriage relationships I had an AHA. I came to understand.
Keep coming back the program works if you work it. (((((hugs))))))
I went to a convention back in March after that experience I decided that I needed to be around healthy people in recovery. I realise as Jerry mentioned that I was just as sick as my drinker trying to change him control him, always focusing on others especially their shortcomings. I needed time to look at me!!!!
Once I handed the drinker over to HP and stopped trying to change him something amazing happened he went to AA and has been sober for 4 months now.
I admire your courage taking this step to remove yourself from a unhealthy place, however I agree with jerry We have to look at the part we played. One day we may roll over in bed and see another face but all the same old problems. I was with a compulsive gambler for 17 years before my drinker I tend to choose people who need fixing Al non has learnt me this because I now look at me and try to catch myself when my focus is on others hope this helps take what u like and leave the rest hugs
Well we are ready when we are huh? Good for you to sticking to your boundary. I am sad as you are that A's are so hard and almost impossible with live with.
The serenity you will feel over time will astound you. I in my experience have such a mellow life and healthy one that I cannot believe the horror we go through. I honestly mean the A also.
We know we must let them go for them to get up themselves, but its so hard.
Congrats and I am, in my mind sending you a bouquet of sunflowers, blue and maroon morning gloires and white fever few.
leaving the ex A was just a small point on my leaving him. When I physically left I was numb, after that I missed him terribly, after that I was angry. Then I began to process a lot and I did much of it here. I really urge you to get all the support you can. I know I found it here daily.
Way to take care of you... Glad to see that you thought it out, and took action... I hope that you still "Keep Coming Back" and sharing your journey of life...
Sincerely wrote:.i'm just looking forward towards a future w/o an alcholic and drug addict.
Do I get sad? sure i do Do I get angry? yeah, mainly at myself for staying so long Do I have any regrets? no, its a waste of time Am I gonna be okay? you bet i will
Dear Sincerely,
I was married to an alcoholic who, actually, was very good to me but the drinking wore me down- Our romantic life suffered because who wants to make love to someone so drunk they cannot even walk straight? So I did the same thing- I told him he needed AA or we would have to split- I was not going to endure this any longer- I love your questions to yourself- So honest and similiar to how I felt- I remember when he first left- I was lost but grateful because being with him forced me to see me and I ended up in recovery- As a child of alcoholism, As a former spouse of an alcoholic, I realized that I needed help to break my unhealthy patterns so I would not keep this in my life.
I was very angry at myself for staying so long- I was with him a total of 17 years, married for 13- I was very down on me for living with it for so long but have since forgiven myself because I knew no other way to live but with excessive drinking and its crazy behaviour- As I heal myself, I see that I deserve healthier people in my life- I have separated from him and then it led to my substance (alcohol) abuse friends and family- I just got to the point where drinking more than occasionally just turns me off-
The "entry fee" to my heart has gone up! I deserve it.
Congratulations on your brave brave decision and following it through- What a testimony of recovery your post displayed
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
