Dear Debilyn:

I read your "lost" post and could relate all too much!

Someone I loved dearly and was someone whom I "thought" loved me attacked me severally in an email- All I did was to tell her that I was having trouble with my anxiety and would she "please let me rest with no arguments over trivial things" and she wrote back and this was a family member doing this to me.  Anyway, she wrote back and the attack was so bad, I panicked and erased it and blocked her email, erased her numbers off my cell and erased her off my Skype and everything else I could find.

Sometimes a person can batter me so badly with their words, not appreciate the fact that I am sensitive, and otherwise show no consideration for my feelings that I just have to Cry and then let them go- Just walk away- I will not write her back and tell her what she did to me because what would be the point? She would just come back with another attack and the dialogue would be going on and on and on.  So I just quietly walked away

I can and did forgive her because she "knows not what she does" but want her in my life? I doubt it- Perhaps at a long distance, but for me it is over- I can forgive a lot of things and I do, however I have the right to protect myself if communicating my needs and setting boundaries and what has to change for this relationship to continue, if all that does not work, then I have learned that the best thing for me to do to care for me is to let this person go and for me when it is over it is over

Its hard for me to give up on a relationship, but I am learning that if one has so little respect for me and so little concern for my feelings, then I do not need them in my life

I am sorry this happened to you- I just hate to see people do vicious things to others- I have been on the receiving end of a lot of awful behavior that is totally unacceptable and cruel and I am not going to stand for it any longer- Since putting these program tools into action, my stress level is less- This family member I made a mistake with- I saw the patterns of abuse all along and her not taking responsibility for her actions against me and I let it go on- I learned my lesson- Family or not, if they are abusive and disrespectful after I set firm boundaries, they are gone!!

I hope you feel better and know that the ones who really care about you would have made amends and turned away from the behavior that they know does harm to you.  I think there is a difference between just being "human" and being out and out wicked to someone! I have learned much discernment, but I am a work in progress for sure.

Wishes for your heart to heal

Neshema