The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Before al anon if an ex contacted me I felt I owed them a chance. This past week an ex from long before the ex A wrote me like some casual person saying hello. He did it through a social networking site thank goodness so I did not have to wonder how he got my email. For once I am clear on who I will speak to and who doesn't get in the door. I used to feel like I was going round a merrygoround, now I know it was actually boundarylessness.
Needless to say I have shut down my social networking site as the picture doesn't look like me anymore anyways. When I am less troubled with chaos I may venture on again but I'm not sure I will do it under a name that is recognizable and searchable as me.
Who know. I am just glad that there is no hesitation anymore not to reply to a jerk from the past. I have nothing to say to him and know that raging or pointing out how he did me wrong got me nowhere. I spent years of my life raging at people who could care less.
I still rage but not at them anymore. I appreciate having an audience rather than a brick wall or a vacuum that is going to suck me alive.
I always felt compelled to respond to people even when it was detrimental to me. All part of my feeling responsible for everyone and carrying unearned guilt. I too have learned so much from Alanon, before Alanon I didnt even know what a boundary was let alone how to set and keep one.
