The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
At the moment I need to detach from someone who is unable to mind their own business. I have just had an unpleasant telephone call from them. I find that when I have hung up from this person I am usually in receipt of information that I should not know, do not need to know and I get sucked in to a charade of a friendship. At the moment I am owed money from this person and needed to stay on the line to ask for same. At one stage I thought this person was sincere and I find through time and working the programme that this was not the case. I just feel bad about myself when I get off the line with this person as she really can be quite demeaning without meaning to I suppose. I cannot afford to pull her on this so a shut mouth is the only option.
My ESH is always that the resentment is about me wanting the person to be other than what they are. When I can accept them and put in place the appropriate boundaries it is hard going. Neverthless boundaries, while something very new to me protect me against a lot of resentments.
Thank you for sharing Marie. I can really, really relate to what you've shared. WHen I started really working my program I was alarmed at how many unhealthy people I had playing roles in my life. It is challenging to detach, but necessary. Maybe try to look at your awareness of this person as a step in your recovery. I know for me there was a time when I would have just accepted the behavior of another person and never acknowledged why or how it made me feel once we ended our conversation.
