The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
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I'm not a drinker but my dad was and so is my husband. Sometimes I feel like having one. Just to forget the pain. I know this is dangerous. Why do I feel this way. Last week my brother came over and we had a couple glasses of wine. Now I feel guility fior having them. I'm afarid alcohol. I'm afarid of being out of control. Whats going on. I'm going to my meeting tomorrow. Feel a little weird for posting this but just had to talk about it.
-- Edited by peacewithin on Sunday 30th of August 2009 03:50:06 AM
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I put my hand in yours and together we can do what we could not do alone.
Hi Peace, I think what you're going through is completely normal. I see an addictions counselor as well as go to al-anon who has said I'm not so much an alcoholic as I can give or take it but said I have all the "isms" - He also said for me, the fact that I don't want to drink says that I "am scared" of alcohol might be a good thing. Because he said that fear of possibly being out of control is normal. It's ok. He said the awareness is a good thing and it's something I've never had because my whole family is alcoholics and I never even had the 'awareness' before, so being aware of my "fear" of alcohol now is really good.
SO in essence I think it's good that you're aware of your fear of it. I also think it's normal and ok. I wouldn't worry to much about it. Keep talking at meetings, go to meetings, and work it out for yourself.
The fear of being out of control is what does it for me. My HP let me have Epilepsy so I know all too well what having no control at all is like. I haven't had an episode in almost 20 years but I still fear them just as much as I did five minutes after I had the last one. Another added benefit is that alcohol is the one thing I have to steer clear of because it messes up my seizure medications and puts me at risk for another episode.
Keep up those f2f meetings the value they hold can be found no other place.
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Everything I have ever let go of has claw marks all over it.
I think we have all thought why not join them ?? well luckily for me I cn't drink worth a damn 2 drinks and I am either asleep or sick , so it just wasnt an option for me . why wouldnt u think tht way it is how u have seen people survive for yrs , first your dad booze is a great problem solver drink enough and thier is no problem , your probably witnessing the same in your marriage . i think your completely normal for those of us who live with alcoholism , good news is u don't act on it and a couple of glasses of wine doesent make u a bad person . Louise
