The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Yes. It's happening for both myself and my AH dry drunk. He said two weeks ago he was going to an AA meeting with a friend. That night, came home and decided to cut the lawn. I asked if he was going,(he was waiting for a friend who bailed out) as I needed to leave to get milk (we have small kids) He said no. I thought long about this. The old me would have bitched, moaned an cried over it. The new me came back from milk, and went to al-anon. He was sad and I knew it.
He went on a Sunday by himself (the friend bailed again) he was even 15 minutes late. normally he would have never even went in. This time he did.
I went to my normal meetings. I'm working on myself. Things in my professional life have turned up tremendously which has done wonders for my self esteem. One of the major issues when he drank and cheated was I felt hopeless like I couldn't leave, as I didn't make enough to support myself and the kids. Should anything ever happen again, my new position might afford me a future alone. I don't want that right now, but if things become unhealthy again, I have a choice. I didn't feel like I had one before.
This past week I asked my husband to go to a joint meeting with me where aa'ers and al-anoners both go a few towns away. I heard about it from my sponsor. He said "yes" - I was scared to ask him for FEAR of a "no" - After the meeting we talked. I mean really talked about how POSITIVE the people and meeting was. The old him would never have been able to do that.
I'm not saying he's committed to AA, but I think he is seeing a "positive" side to it. That's a wonderful thing.
I'm truly grateful to this program. It's such a weird and wonderful feeling to be focussed on ME, my job, my kids, and not running around unhappy, and miserable. This peaceful content feeling is amazing and GROWING on me. Thanks for letting me share. I don't know what the future brings, but I'm happy for today.
Great progress! I bet you feel so much freer to be able to see you can make it alone with your kids.
Does not matter what he does as even if he gets into a program, chances are horribly high he will relapse, but you will not be a stuck as you could be.
Plus you staying in a program, makes it a better chance for him to get back onto his.
I loved your post. You sound strong and you have thought this all out.
Your very fortunate to have found a joint meeting , Ihope u continue to go as a couple , my husb and I went for yrs to the same type of meeting , I got to hear from the alcoholic and he heard from other al anon s how the drinking affected our lives , with out me having to say a word . I found it difficult at first but I had to be honest when sharring even if it hurt my husb , he understood it was not meant to hurt but simple where I was at the time . and I had to allow him the same the right to say what was on his mind and not take it personally . Our joint meeting closed a few yrs ago and we both really miss it , I continue to go to my meetings unfortunately my husb has not found other meetings at this time , all is well as he is now in his 20th yr of sobriety . Keep the focus on yourself and you will be just fine . Louise
