The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It has taken me a long time to realize that there were times I was being used and I had no idea. Friends pretending to be friends. It must have been that little girl inside who thought the world was a good place. I now have no friends and that is okay. I was laid off last year. I was so stupid that I did not take care of myself properly. My job duties were two pages long and I was given no training. I hopped right in and taught myself. The business used all my ideas and is now profiting from them and I have one week left on unemployment. I had asked for a raise twice and was told no because he had plans on laying me off. I was too stupid not to see what was coming. The reason I did not see all of this is because this is how I was raised, to take care of my parents' needs and not my own. I don't trust anyone anymore.
What a hard time for you. You say "I was so stupid" twice, and I don't think you were stupid at all. Your boss was probably careful to hide the layoff from you, as bosses are. Trusting people isn't stupid, but of course protecting yourself is always good. It sounds to me as if you might be depressed. I hope you can get to some meetings. We need to take very, very good care of ourselves, especially when we're still healing from our past -- but also always. I think there will be people at meetings who will provide a sense of companionship (and who could probably use a share of your EHS). Even people-shy people feel better and get rebalanced when they can hang out with like-minded folks -- do take care of yourself by going. Your serenity is important.
Hi (((Kissers))) good to see you here and thank you for your share.
Firstly you are not stupid, being a good, hard working, thoughtful human being is never stupid.
You mention being brought up to please your parents. I survived my childhood by learning how to read my A dads mood and then behave accordingly Learned behaviours that I've carried through into all my adult relationships. Codependant behaviours that have led me into being taken advantage of. I trusted everyone , never held back in giving and firmly believed that people would never be bad Ouch! Since being in a program and working the steps, and reading recovery lit for adult children of alcoholics. I have learnt how to protect myself by setting boundaries, listening to my inner voice and coming to an understanding that unhealthy people behave in bad ways, not always on purpose but because they dont know any better. Trust is a massive problem for me, I find it very hard to really trust but I have not given up on me, or believing there is alot off good out there. I still operate on a do as you would be done by basis. I dont want to be hardend or closed off I'm just a lot more self aware. Many of my 'friends' have sort of faded out of my life but thats ok because I have a couple of true friends and many new ones who I've met through Al-Anon and CoDA, healthy recovery friends and healthy non fellowship friends. Kissers you are not alone your MIP friends are always here for you. I hope you can get to some f2f meetings and share your experiences, you will find good people there. Keep coming back and keep taking care of you.
Thank you for your responses. My sponsor said me walking into a room trying to decipher other people's moods is a form of mental retardation. I always feel like I am walking on eggshells.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((kisser))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))00 your going to be Alright! Just breathe and take one step at a time.... The steps you might take maybe small but there at least steps! Taking care of you must come first.. My husband has been out of work for a 1 year and it has take a toll on our marriage, paying bills and eating food.. But we just keep taking one step at a time!!
Am currently working but not making much but to get by with but thats ok for now!
I struggling with takening care of myself too!! But that all needs to change... Well I am about to leave work for the day!! Hang in there!!!
uhhhh hon, ok your counselor... well this counselor must have what he/she said was mental retardation, that is what they do today and everyday, try to figure out someones mood and what got them there. oh brother
Anyway yes you are ok. Now what, what do you have? Have you looked for work?
Where are you right now?
Sometimes in my life, the worst stuff has been the best thing for me! Thought I found a house we wanted. It was just sold, my now home is the best I could ask for!
I was blessed to marry my AH, even though it was the worst choice, I wanted it all my life, I am not sorry. the best came out of it.
I got moved from one position to another, another school even. All new. ug, it was the best year I had so far.
It is very ok to look at the bad stuff. grieve then we start up again. Can't go down.
