The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was sitting here typing, and posting on some of the shares on the boards, and I was typing to one about me NEEDING a place to go when one passes, and how I have always just needed "that Spot" to remember, and love, and embrace "MY" inner love for a person...And I have lost many so the spots are not just the grave yards, but places that we had shared our time & Lives together...
As I am typing the phone rings... It is the memorial place that I had bought my AFathers stone...When I heard the Very Kind Gentlemans voice, I knew him right away for he sat and spoke to me about my Afather, and family, when I was placing my order... I remember thinking to myself...
"How in Gods Name am I going to pick this out By My Self, and what is Everyone Else Going to Think... What if they hate it, What if it isn't what THEY Wanted"....
This man could see I was "New" at this... So he sat with me and made me laugh, and just really made such a horrible thing feel OK!!! I am going to send him a Thank You Card today for his kindness...
So when he called today I felt joy in his voice, and that same kindness... He wanted to let me know that my Afathers Stone was in, and he would be placing it tomorrow...
My stomach is still doing flip flops.. How can I be "Excited" that Yes My AFather Stone is here... And the more I think about it the more I realized that I wasn't excited about the stone as much as I am excited of the (Completion of my Responsibilitys) to my Afather... I loved him dearly even tho this disease controlled his life, but I think the day has come were I can easily say... "I Have done the Best that I could with what I had, and those that didn't agree, should have stepped up and been a apart of the one thing I didn't want to do myself" ALONE...
I'm at peace knowing that I did my best... I'm a peace knowing I was strong enough to over come such a tragity in my life... And tho my 4 other siblings did nothing for Him or I... I got it done...
And thanks to the love & support of Al-anon/ACOA, I wasn't alone at all... I had all the love, support, that one could ask for... And tho we didn't share a blood line, we shared a journey that I know I couldn't have over come with out the help of all of you that stood beside me in the steps I had to take to allow my Afather to Rest in Peace...
I don't know if I can go up tomorrow and look at the stone right away.. And I don't know if I can't take the day off to do so... that will depend on tomorrow, but I know now that I am stronger then I have been in a long time, just taking the steps I needed to do what I could to not only lay my Afather to rest, but to do it with a grace, I feel he would be proud of...
So thanks all for pushing me thru to the end,... For I think I have Finally found the other side of the rainbow, and now I can go about living my life... One Day at A Time...
Thank you Ms. Hotrod... I sure miss ya'.... I will post my Newest "Update" tomorrow for tonight I am too whooped :P It is proof my Afather still has a sense of humor... Kisses... and thanks again...
