The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi All, It's been a while since I posted. I try but nothing will come out that makes sense! So I end up deleting a page of dribble after writing it for hours. Even at f2f meetings I can't string two words together that make sense to me or anyone else. I am in a "zombie zone" or something. Weird. Some days I miss my husband (AH) terribly. We have been six months apart now. The longest period ever in my life to be out of a relationship. One day I might be down, the next up. Missing him one minute and glad to be alone the next. If I don't see him for a few weeks I wonder what he is doing but not to the point of obsession any more. The feelings are kind of feeble now. I might start that old train of thought but it goes away. I used to smoke years ago and when I gave up, the craving would come in waves of decreasing intensity till finally, they were gone. For me, it's like that. Giving up my alcoholic and his "isms'. When I last saw him, after about an hour I felt all annoyed and frustrated. Being with him still gives me the same feelings. We just can't "fall-in" together. I miss what was (or the illusion of what it was)but I just have to keep going. He always says that he loves me and accepts me as I am and why don't I do the same for him? And I am the only peron who has a problem with his drinking. But then I (and our son) were the only ones who were exposed to the way he lives. Not fair. But I am finding plenty to do with myself and for myself these days. I miss being in a relationship but hey, it's do-able! I haven't died yet! I still don't know how I will feel tomorrow but I know that I will be able to feel the feelings and think rationally about them and not be controlled by them anymore. And that's a plus. Thanks guys. Silverbrumby
I have been alone for 4 years now. AHsober left. I miss him. But I don't miss the ism either. Except that is all that seems to be left. He doesn't work a program. He says it is you, you, you. I use to believe him. He just needed an excuse to left and be an addict. Yes, it is doable. I have a whole new life without him. Don't worry about making sense here. We will understand.
Sounds like you are doing a fantastic job despite the back and forth with your thoughts. I experience the same thing. It's natural. But it sounds like you've got everything under control.
Weird.
We have been six months apart now. The longest period ever in my life to be out of a relationship.
and frustrated. Being with him still gives me the same feelings. We just can't "fall-in" together.