Okay not sure if I really need ESH maybe I just need to vent a bit. Lot's been going on since I last posted.

I am doing pretty good for the most part. I start school on Monday! Book is still packed away no clue where tried to find it, but I've already take the first 4 weeks of this class ..and it's not till next week so not letting it get to me.

I should find out tomorrow if I get accepted for an apartment. My dad is co signing and decided to take his time filling out paperwork (over a week).. but they said as long as he has never been evicted I will be accepted. But I know not to expect it 100% because you never know these days..But I am grateful he is co signing he didn't really want to.

My A has REALLY been playing the victim and for once I can notice it and not falling for it or enabling ... He says he is still not drinking. Lie or not? I don't know not my business. He told me as long as he doesn't drink doctor says he will live till our son is older...how much older? Not my business I didn't ask as long as he wont die any time soon I am fine knowing that.

His girlfriend kicked him out!! So he says if she did or not I don't really care. But he keeps asking me for money.. I can't enable or help him. Although I did give him $5 for gas the other day...but my motive was so he would come over to play outside with our son so I could get work done. And I did have him drive me to gas station and I prepaid $5 for him so I know it was spent on gas. He tried saying he was going to pump 10 that is why I prepaid so he couldn't!

He lost his job why? I don't know he told me 3 different reasons and I don't question it because it's not my business. He says his doctor told him when applying for jobs he has to tell them his medical condition (cirrosis, pancreas problems and some yellonitis or something can't remember what he said) so no one is wanting to hire him. Do I feel bad?  A little, but it's really not my problem or my business. I have enough of my own to worry about and will NOT waste time worrying about him no more!

If I do get this apartment I will be moving in Sept!! And I have a slight feeling he may try to move in since he is supposibly sleeping in someones camper.. I know I shouldn't think of the future, but with this I think I need to a little or I may fall for his crap and let him move in, which really is not what I want.  I do still really love him a lot, but not ready to get back with him and maybe never will. He says he doesn't need treatment so is not going to go and I haven't asked about AA because really it's not MY business.

I guess I just feel grateful for Alanon and ALL I have learned!! If I wasn't here I know things would be so much different and not as good as they are! I am more peaceful and have serentiy in my life dealing with all the A's I know. I have learned lots of tools I use each day even when situations do not involve A's!

Alright my hand is getting sore..hope it's not carpel tunnel or something. Waiting for clinic to call me back to see a specialist.

So thanks to you all who have given me ESH! The program does work if you work it and I am!!!!!!!



-- Edited by Melissa21 on Tuesday 18th of August 2009 12:23:51 PM