The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well my husband informed me this week that his upper GI that they wanted him to take was going to cost him $250 upfront and then $1200 total. That doesn't include the throat endoscopy they wanted him to have or the blood work. He just said, "I don't have the money for that." and I said, "but it's your health." His reply was, "Well I'll either live or I'll die."
Step 1: I am powerless over alcohol and my life has become unmanageable.
I asked him again tonight how he was feeling. "So, so," he said. "My throat feels swollen." I just didn't say anything. I am powerless over this situation. He refuses to look for a job that will have insurance to pay for his bills, so I have to allow him to suffer the consequences of his choices (as though I had a choice).
We will be divorced on August 25th and I am still feeling responsible for him for some reason. I know in my head that I am not, but this illness really brings out the caretaker in me. I want to make it all better and have him go to the doctor and take care of himself. But again I am powerless over his choices.
Time to practice Let Go and Let God and do a lot of praying.
Overcome
P.S. Original thread is entitled "Husband has gone to ER" it is on page 2 of posts.
-- Edited by Overcome on Saturday 15th of August 2009 11:40:24 PM
__________________
I can Overcome all things through my HP who strengthens me.
My sympathies for your dilemma. Really not a dilemma as you say. Someone at a meeting today shared that her husband threatened suicide if she divorced him. Put his possessions on her porch. It seems all the same - you can't take it on or you will drown yourself.
Overcome...good work replacing feelings of responsibility with empathy and compassion. It was hard changing my enabling habits also. Justifying doing the same thing over and expecting different results was one of the first things to go.
Good Job (((((hugs)))))...I pray he hooks up with his HP.
Overcome I can relate to your share my ex is a compulsive gambler we have been seperated for over 5 years after 17 years together.
He has been kicked out by his current girlfriend and is back in a hostel. I hear the sadness and pain in his voice as he faces the consequences of his choices. However he is a grown man and not my responsibility. I have to fight the co-dependent in me and Al non helps me to do this I do not feel guilty but still care. I will say a prayer for him and hand him over to HP
I know all this has been so very hard on you.. As I have said before though you are a good and loving person as well and strong and you will get thru this.. I do wish there was more I could do to help you thru this.. You know I am here anytime.. And you have everyone here, in the room and in your f2f as well.. Use all that you need to hun.. We ARE here for you..
