The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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level.
I been doing real good working on myself I feel like a new person. Then WHAM ! I went to a country music concert with my son and ran our check book to low according to him. He verbally hurt me in all the ways he could. He knows I'm getting ready to leave and he says you can't leave me you can't make it on your own. I started believing it again and my self esteem went to He++. Now I'm thinking maybe I am spending to much money maybe I should not treat myself to nails done every 3 weeks. He does make more than I do. He does pay the bills and active A but does nothing after he gets home from work, our house is falling apart. Things are breaking down and they never get fixed. We can't afford any thing but his beer and make sure that he has enough till we get payed again. I will do the first 3 steps again and again and again. I will trust my HP will get me where I need to be again.
Peace & Love Deb
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I put my hand in yours and together we can do what we could not do alone.
The beauty of recovery is that we can restart it whenever we want. We all slip, it's part of healing. It's how we learn and grow in recovery.
As for your budget it never hurts to go back and review it. I did that just the other day. They just raised my rent and now that I am single again, I need to make sure I can keep up with things. I constantly look for ways I can economize. I work retail and that can get dicey in these economic times. We did not get our raises this year, so I need to stay ahead of the game. But we also have to be able to endulge a little. For me, it's books. I just don't buy as many as I use to. I go to the library instead.
I always went back to Step 1. I still do. I substitute the word alcohol for what is appropriate. Lots of time it's the word "People". Addicts will do anything to keep other people in their place. It's part of their disease. The tough part for us, is not to let them. This is your life. Take no prisoners. You're strong. You can do this. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I'm sorry ur going through this. Keep in mind that when the A is abusive & hurtful to us, what they are saying is designed to hurt, of course it does, try to remove what is said. It isnt necessarily true, it is designed to keep us down, fearful, doubtful, confused & stuck. You may or may not be able to afford everything you want on your own, but you will figure that out. I think if there is a will, there is a way. Let his (hurtful) words go in one ear & out the other. No doubt he is upset that you are planning to leave, I would think he would pull all sorts of antics to see that that doesnt happen. A's work their enalbers over hard & dont want to lose all that work. They hate change.
Do what u have to do to take care of YOU, whatver that looks like. Focus on you & work your program & detach from his issues, feelings & what he says abusively. You are worth so much more, believe that.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Well, in these economic times, it is more necessary to say no but harder to say no. I find especially when I am down and out that I feel like I need a boost like a nice dinner out. But when I get my credit card bill it stings. Like this morn when I looked at my balance. Every budget can have a small line item for "fun" or "entertainment" after the bills are paid.
