The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thank you all for taking the time to pass on your wisdom...yesterday was a long day and it really helped to know there are people that have been where I am now and are willing to share about it. I packed up my A's stuff yesterday and put it in the shed where he can pick it up whenever hes ready I really didnt want to do that for him but also didnt want him in the house to do it himself and have the chance to blame me for everything again..so I picked the lesser of the two evils and did it for him...and myself...I just dont have it in me right now to even look at him..I need to be by myself right now to figure out what Im feeling (or not feeling) and what Im going to do about it, I have to work all day today but am going to call and find out when and where the next f2f is, I know there is one at noon everyday but I work at noon most days so I hope there is another one. We had a very bright clear full moon here last night and I got a pic text from a number I didnt know and opened it and it was a pic of the moon from my A...I have no clue whose phone # he sent it from but when I didnt reply he sent my 23 yr old ( who by the way is a very big boy and very overprotective of his mother) son a text asking him why I have to be such a bitch because I have what Ive wanted and am still not happy...I dont know why he cant just leave us alone...why send that to my son when he knows my son has nothing to do with our relationship? More mind games I guess. Thanks to all once again and I hope everybody has a great day!!!
ticswife, He's not able to control you right now and he's mad, so he's blameshifting. Keep it in perspective. I know this is all easier said because I'm have bee and AM IN the same struggle as you.
We need you as you do us, that is what makes this place work, we all need to know that there is someone, something that understands the HELL or the Powerlessness that we have and feel...
I personally think you did good packing up his things, and your right it wasn't for him it was for what YOU Needed to do.. Why stare at the pain, and not just let the shed have it, and then you can begin your own healing at your own pace... One less thing on the "To Do List"... ;)
I agree with "Inpain" when it comes to him, no one can really say WHY he did or does as he does, but he is looking to show it anger and be heard, and since your not playing in it, then he went to one of your Heartstrings... And I am sure your "Big Boy" will be able to handle himself if he keeps it up... Let' Go & let God... For WE Are Powerless... :)
Detaching from my ex A was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Now I've done it I find myself less drawn into manipulation.
There was a reason I was with the ex A. There was a method to learning detachment. I have to say it is an incredibly useful skill to have. Please pick up Getting them Sober by Toby Rice Drew you will not regret the effort.
