"i don't buy it" - Al-Anon Family Group

xter · Senior Member

"i don't buy it"

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha xter!! It is a good article and should have been shared after the meeting or
before as it is not a piece of conference approved literature. It still is a good piece
of work from a seemingly exceptionally open minded woman regarding acceptance
and not reacting and holding herself responsible only to her side of the street. I
forgot how I got directed to it and if I find it I'll repost the link here. (((hugs))) smile

maresie · ~*Service Worker*~

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/02/fashion/02love.html?pagewanted=1&%2339&_r=1&sq=I%20don&st=cse&scp=2&%2359;t%20buy%20it

Of course this is not for everyone. I do think its a great example of detachment though.

Personally my six months was 7 years long and beyond.

Maresie.

Inpain · Senior Member

Hmmm. Next time he starts that argument try this, "I didn't know I was that good. Can I steer you into painting the house too? Wow, this is good stuff!!"

Nobody can make anyone do anything they don't want to do.

Really though, I think the answer is just not to go to the fight next time he provokes. I just kinda like to have a little fun with it though. My husband pulls the "control" card on me sometimes and in our last discussion, I guess I was his pupeteer pulling the strings.

I LOVE IT! Because he's CERTAINLY been pinnochio before!!

Ok Ok...I'm a little sparky tonight. It's all in jest.

debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

So honey what made you stay with me when you were not drunk?

I wish for you to know, or believe that is the disease talking

remember it is insanity.

much love,debilyn

lacewing · Veteran Member

I wish I could read the article...but you need to register to the NY Post in order to do so.

My Ex Husband said those exact words to me too - after 5 1/2 years of marriage. Of course it was all my fault, he said - mainly because I 'don't understand him and his needs'.

Not being able to read the article (wish someone would post it somewhere, and if they do - let me know where...would love to read it)...I am sure I did not respond nor behave like this wife did. I learned many things when I came to Al-Anon - many that I wish I had learned before marriage... confuse

Wait....I think I said that backwards - I wish I had come to Al-Anon when I first suspected Alcohol was a possible 'reason' for many of the things going on in our marriage....for I would have dealt with it all so much better than I did. I found Al-Anon when I just felt hopeless, lost, angry and confused about WHY he didn't love me and that he POSSIBLY COULD BE an alcoholic, but I was not sure. I am still confused as to why HE left ME (for another alcoholic and se x addict, mind you)....because what appears to be the 'norm' is: the NON-Drinker generally leaves the Alcoholic if anyone leaves at all. So even in this respect, I still feel a bit 'different than others in Al-Anon' and out of the 'normal loop' (if there is such a thing as normal, am still trying to learn that too!) ... sigh cry

I am still learning MY feelings and how to cope with them - over all this 'I love you, I love you not' and what I have been left with. The residual 'stuff' is as hard as actually dealing with the alcoholic relationship at times - but I am willing to continue learning - for my own serenity and recovery. Because... I AM WORTH IT! biggrin

So please...let me know if it ever gets posted anywhere and where! Just to curb my curiosity - 'cause KNOWLEDGE IS POWER! - um...isn't it? confuse

-- Edited by lacewing on Saturday 8th of August 2009 12:28:22 AM

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.