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I just got a call from my husband that he was coming back from the ER (we are seperated going through a divorce). He said that he went to open a beer and couldn't swallow it and new he was in trouble. He has no insurance, so after going to several hospitals he found one that would take him and he said they didn't even put a wrist band on him. (don't understand that) They gave him X-rays of his chest and neck and said that his heart and lungs were fine, but that the epiglotis (that thin lid that covers the windpipe during swallowing) was swollen and that was why he couldn't swallow. The doctor said it was from years of drinking and smoking and that he couldn't drink or smoke anymore.
He gave him a shot of something to help the swelling so he could swallow and he gave him some acid reflux medication. And sent him home. I couldn't believe that they sent him home. He said he had had some bleeding from the throat, but that he had thought it to be from sinuses. He has also (some years back) had some bleeding from the rectum that they said that it was hemorrhoids at the time, I hope they were right.
We have been married for 3 years and he hasn't drank during that time, he's been a dry drunk. But we have been seperated since February and I have suspected that he has gone back to drinking recently. He drops his trash off here and there are always empty beer bottles in the trash. I can hear them "clink". I have just stayed out of his business and have Live and Let Live, but this really scares me. He hasn't smoked for three months.
I know that I didn't cause this or can't control it, or cure it, but boy does it make me feel helpless. I can only turn it over to God and put it in His very capable hands. I know that others have gone through things worse than this, so I will be strong and take care of myself.
I was talking to someone in chat and they said it sounded like esophageal varices, so I called husband up to see if the doctor had used this term and he said he thought so. I googled esophageal varices and it is associated with cirrocis of the liver. It is a very serious disease.
My husband just had one of his drinking buddies die of cirrosis of the liver. The friend was told a year ago that if he didn't stop drinking that he would die and now he is gone. I would have thought that would have woke my husband up, but there is no limit to the denial of this disease.
They have my husband scheduled to take an endoscopy test, he has to call and make the appt. tomorrow. I hope he does so, as he doesn't have any insurance and I don't know what he is going to do.
Even though I am going through a divorce with this man, I still love him and don't want any harm to come to him. I would ask for prayer for his returned health and a realization on his part of how serious this has become.
I will keep you posted on his conditon.
Overcome
-- Edited by Overcome on Thursday 6th of August 2009 01:34:36 AM
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I can Overcome all things through my HP who strengthens me.
For me Mine Drinker was my AFather, He past last Thanksgiving... He was sooo bad that they told him flat out... You stop the drinking or the smoking or ya die... They told him his Liver was Jello...And his Lungs were restricting him severly because of 40 years of smoking... He had Astma all his life and then COPD... He would not see a doctor, "No Insurance, No Anything Really" He started going to a doctor, 5 months before he died... Health Clinics and such that would take him with No Insurance.. The day he was found he was found with his Ash Trey full of Cigarettes, and his Vodka sit'n right beside him...
Personally.. I BEGGED him to quit... My other sister hadn't spoken to him in over 12 years, my Abrother didn't have any thing to do with him, he just turned into his twin... My other siblings didn't really have the time I did with him. So I took it on as MY RESPONSIBILITY... Not the Best Decission I ever made, but I didn't have Al-anon then...
NOW... I know that no matter what I WANTED For him, No Matter What I WISHED for Him, No Matter what I so DESIRED for him, was nothing more then wishful thinking on my half... And to make it worse I now have ABrother with the same fate if he doesn't soon choose, LIFE Over DEATH... For now I know I AM POWERLESS OVER THEIR ADDITION....
Find a F2F, Hit an On-Line, Post here... But Mainly... TAKE CARE OF YOU... It never Hurts to Pray for someones Well being, And currantly I pray for MINE...
Take what you like and leave the rest... Friends in Recovery... One Day At A Time... & Sometimes... One MOMENT...
I can relate very much to what you are going through. I hear a lot of awareness and acceptance in your post and sometimes no action on our behalf is the right thing to do (aside from keeping the focus on ourselves).
My active AH also went to the ER yesterday. My son found him at home in a lot of pain saying he thinks he broke his leg from a fall. I'm very proud of my son who didn't freak out, react or get angry - just offered to call him an ambulance and then called me at work to tell me about it. Anyway, this time my AH was lucky- possible broken ankle and a BAC of 456mg/dl. I looked up that level, for most of us, if we had that level we would be in a coma (400 level) or dead (500 level). My AH was sitting up, making jokes etc. The hospital staff were shocked because his lab report came back saying "critical value". They came rushing back into his room to check he was still breathing. They say this is an all time high, even for my AH. Of course, it's an all time low in reality.
When we got home, I went to an alanon meeting and he went and bought more alcohol - on a broken ankle, on foot! I know I need my program all the more during these trying times. I too live him very much and it is horrible seeing the harm the disease does. Cunning, baffling and powerful.
hate about his medical issues - hope you are able to still take good care of YOU and let him take care of HIM. I know it is difficult to do - but sometimes it is the best for everyone. When our loved ones are at their worst - we need to be at our best.
HUGS, Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
So sorry to hear of this sad situation. I lost my father to cirrhosis of the liver and beat myself up for many years for not 'making' him stop (like I actually could have). Back then I really thought I could have done something about it, but now I realize that I was/am completely powerless over the disease and that this was HP's way of bringing my father back to peace.
I hope that your background in Al-Anon and the support here helps you retain your serenity during this difficult time.
