The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello Friends, I have not been around MIP much this last week. My A Hubby was offshore and I decided to take a different approach to things. It struck me on day when I was putting gasoline in my car. I was happy! And I decided to do what I used to do before I met my husband 10 years ago. And that was just go with the flow. I picked up a bottle of wine put it in the fridge and made plans for the weekend. I have been sick of talking about my A, his family, reading AA litature and all the A stuff. Don't get me wrong, i desperately need all of it. But drowning myself in it was not helping the problem either. I bought a cosmo, glamor and redbook and put them on the night stand. I treated myself to two bottles of perfume and weekend of sunshine.
My husband came in from offshore this morning. I made him some grits. Just because. He didn't ask. I wanted to. I never called him while I was at work today. He called me. That was very unusual. A small part of my heart was wishing he'd be home when I got off of work excited to see me, maybe even wanting to roll around in the sheets. My normal reaction would have been to dial his number the minute I saw that he wasn't home. But I didn't. I did what I have been doing the past week. I came inside, put on some comfy clothes and decided I needed to vent a little here rather than at him when he comes home. He just called....a little confused that I was home and had not called him yet. It's good he's confused. I'm gonna take care of me. Thanks all,
Good for you taking care of yourself ,but why are u reading AA literature ??? hon your never going to figure him out , read your Al-Anon lit then at least u will know what makes one of you tick . hang in there . Louise
Great way to take care of you! Sometimes I have to remind myself to live my life like my AH wasn't in it, either... that way I do what I want to do without putting things on hold for whatever reason for my AH.
I've read the AA Big Book myself - just the first 164 pages. It was a requirement of my sponsor, as she felt it important I get a little understanding of what the A is going through. Wasn't an exercise in trying to figure out "why" at all. Just adds some perspective and the capability of some compassion.
Every now and then I also need to give the whole program a *brief* break. Especially if I find I've been subtly building high expectations of myself in how I'm supposed to behave, etc. Al-Anon was developed as tools to assist me with living my life... not necessarily as an actual life-style. :) I find I wear myself out if I live and breathe program, program, program.
I've been reading both alanon and AA stuff. I always read the chapter to the wives in the AA book. But this week I gave it a rest. Right now, i'm okay. ODAT. Thanks for being her for me. Sincerely, Tonya
This is just my opinion , the chapter to the wives is the only thing in the big book that drives me nuts . I could never understand why til awhile ago I found a piece of literature that answered my question . It was written by an alcoholic from an alcoholics point of view , I always thought that Lois * Bill W 's wife wrote it * Bill did not allow her to write it as he wanted the book to be purley AA . The big book of AA is written by and for alcoholics.
Very interesting Abbyal. WOW, i still have so much to learn. I value your opinion and admire your strength more than you can imagine. It was beginning to drive me nuts also. NO WONDER!! Thanks,
You did it girl! You changed the pattern and YOU ARE FEELING THE BENEFIT OF YOUR ACTIONS.
Good for you...keep it up...and remember the effects this hard work of yours has done in YOUR life...POSITIVE PROGRESS from changing a couple or three old habits that have perhaps been a tad negative and controlling and fretful...
You let go of the strings and you started walking my yourself and found out that you could and you can still feel happy to walk with him too in a more positive way.
LOVE IT. Now let that MIRACLE sink in, and repeat the experience.
Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
