The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi, my name is Trish and my husband is an alcoholic. He is going into detox tomorrow morning at 10:30 once again. I hope this will be last time but I have my doubts. I know now that I also need help. I never thought that I would be in this situation and frankly dont know how to handle it. I know that I cant take it any more. I have two weeks before school starts and cant afford shoes for my two kids. My AH has blown up our checking account once again. We are so far in debt right now it is pitiful. He has been on a drinking binge for over 2 weeks now and has not worked. He also takes Zanax about 75 a month. He does admit that he has a problem and says he wants to stop. Im just so worried and scared. Im also so hurt and angry. He says very mean things when he is drunk. He is not physical but verbaly abusive. He gets drunk then goes gambling and spends everything that we have and dont have. I really dont know what to do or how to handle this. I have read the AA Book and ordered Courage to Change. So I guess thats a start. Any advice or words of encourgement would be appreciated.Thanks for listening. Trish
Have you been able to get to any Al-Anon meetings? If you call your local office, they will give you times and places. We suggest 6 meetings to see if it can help.
Also, have you considered keeping some of your finances separate? Such as your own checking acct? And ready emergency cash kept far out of his reach?
((((((Trish)))))) (these are cyberhugs, by the way),
Welcome to MIP. You're in the right place. I've been through some of what you're going through, though without the gambling thrown in. I had to hide my purse and keys in a different place each day before my ex-AH came home... then he'd take money from the kids' piggy banks.
If you can get to face-to-face meeting, they're a great place, but if not, there are meeting online here twice a day.
Since he's going into detox tomorrow morning, I would suggest taking tomorrow for you. The first thing I always did when mine went was wash all the bedding and empty a container of Febreeze onto the bed. That first night with no smell of booze and no worries about his safety at the moment was always great sleep - even if all 3 kids ended up in bed with me! It made it much easier to look at life in general the next day.
Get the book Getting them Sober. Get to meetings, here or wherever you can and totally throw yourself into al anon. You are not alone and in al anon you never need feel that way again.
Thank you all for your replies. I did bring him to detox and it broke my heart. I know it is for the best but it was so hard to leave him there. I went to my first meeting online last nite and truly enjoyed it. I am looking forward to the one tonite. I do plan on going in person but right now am not able to. I also plan on going to husbands AA meetings (his request). As far as finances go well I need to catch up before I can do seperate accounts and as far as stashing well every time I do I end up needing it. I did however wash my sheets and frebreezed the room and cant wait to crawl under the covers with my kids and snuggle them. It has been an exshausting day. I also want to thank Tom and cant wait to get that book. I already fell welcomed!!
