The material presented
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I was divorced about 26 yrs ago from my A husband. My 3 sons were 10/11/12. They are now 34/35/36. I am happily married now for 23 yrs. My new husband is very responsible, hard worker, the total opposite from my ex. The question is he helped me raise my 3 boys, and they saw his work ethics etc. My boys are hard workers, don't get me wrong. But they are soooo much like my ex in the fact that they don't look after their stuff...vehicles, yards, homes etc. My oldest is pretty good but the other 2--it is soooo embarrasing. They drive up and their vehicles look like they went thru a war zone. That is EXACTLY how their A dad was. He never paid his bills, never kept up the yard, was not responsible...just wanted to "play" all the time. How could 2 out of 3 of my boys be like him??? They are not big drinkers, like their father was. I raised them to be responsible etc. but they seem to follow that bad character default. I am not really complaining they are good kids.....(men) just don't understand how they got his bad defaults..(its not like I don't have any!!) lol......but I always taught them to pay their bills, look after their property etc.....But i guess that is their business, right!!
Aloha Meagain...the part where you look back at yourself is the leveler. Things they have in common with your ex is that they are human, males, had the same mother, have equal opportunities to make choices, have good points and are children of God. The positives look pretty good huh? I should not forget that they had the same step-father also. Do a couple of positive and gratitude lists. It really helps. (((((hugs)))))
do your sons go to Al Anon too? it may be something that could benefit them. i know that my AH is very irresponsible and actually, so am i. one of the best things that this program is helping me with is becoming more financially and household-y responsible (part of changing and taking care of me).
I think any child who grew up in an alcoholic home has some issues. Certainly some of them can be changed by having a better environment but early environment counts for a great deal.
Personally I think that messy yards, messy cars are a lot better than them being an alcoholic so I think you have a great success there on many fronts.
default. I am not really complaining they are good kids.....(men) just don't understand how they got his bad defaults..(its not like I don't have any!!) lol......but I always taught them to pay their bills, look after their property etc.....But i guess that is their business, right!!
