The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm feeling quilty??? Why?? I don't have a clue. It's storming outside and I haven't called my sister....Ya know the one I was talking about last night...that calls me drunk all night long leaving nasty messages because I won't answer the phone after the hour long conversation we had just a couple hours earlier. The one that refuses to get help. Now why am I feeling so responsible for her...I'm the younger sister 11 years her junior) I wish I could have went to her for help and I know her daughter does too but NO...it's been all about her. Then I started reading a book on co-dependency and its pointing it's finger at me! I hadn't realized I was so sick....needing her approval or something. Trying to fix her....Oh I have so much to learn. I'm afraid this is going to be a long journey...I'm hanging on tight for this ride... So glad I found this place...I'm going to need it more than ever
You know that is about how I felt when I started coming. But it's not my sister everyone else in my life it seems though (especially exbf-sons father). I quit worrying about me and wasted my time trying to fix, help, change everyone else. And day by day I just sunk deeper into the whole.
It will get better. One day at a time. Take it slow and remember progress not perfection. I had to learn to live my own life and not try to live other peoples lives for them. It takes time and sometimes I still slip and mess up, but I know I am getting better and learning more. It took me a lot of time to apply the tools to my everyday life. At first I thought if I learned everything in a week I was good and quit coming back. But learning isn't everything I had to learn to apply it to everything.
__________________
"Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip." Will Rogers
Aloha KC....I remember the guilt feelings also. It was something about I wasn't caring or it seemed I wasn't acting like I was caring however I was forgetting the hurt, pain and abuse part. They could forget to love in return and I wasn't ever supposed to forget to love and care. Fortunately the mind and body and the spirit and the emotions can call it quits on me and just leave my ego to feel the guilt until I stop and change as Melissa is doing. Today I can love myself like I've loved them and work on keeping myself fixed because I know I need that and leave everyone else be because they don't feel that their broke. Soooo "if it's not broke, don't fix it." ((((((hugs))))))
So glad I found this place...I'm going to need it more than ever
