I am fed up with my relationship. Everytime I let go and give stuff to my hp things seem to improve for a few days, then everything goes back to the same old way. My bf keeps chosing to hang out and do stuff with everyone but me. He's always coming up with excuses why I can't go somewhere with him.

Right now he's on the way to the lake and didn't want me to go. He just left and he left a voicemail saying he was gonna come back and get me but I didn't answer the phone. So I called him back and asked him why he changed his mind. Well he said he's gonna be back in a little bit. I told him that's not my point.

I don't need him to be at home. I want to get out and do stuff with him. I told him on his way out that he never had to be back. That I was done. That may be why he called me back. Maybe he got worried.

I told him before he left that I wanted to be with someone who wants me around and he doesn't so he's not the one I want to be with.

I guess I got right back into the crazyness cuz I argued with him. I keep telling myself he's gonna do what he's gonna do, trying to calm down. It has been quite a while since we've argued about things until now. For weeks now I didn't complain when he went somewhere even though it bothered me.

For those weeks I would go do stuff with my friend and the kids and not say a word when he wanted to go somewhere. But how long is it gona be that way? I'm at the point where I'm just ready for him to get out of my life. I feel like if I stay with him, I'll always end up doing my thing and he'll do his.

I guess a lot of times it feels like it did back when he was drinking. He would always be gone. The only thing that's different is that he's not drinking. So I guess again, I anwered my own question. But can I blame everything on the dry drunk syndrome?

Well I just talked with my friend. We are going to go to the lake too cuz he's got her son with him and her daugther is hanging out with some friends. So it's just my friend and me. We can do whatever we want.

What kinda bugs me is that he's going to meet one of his old drinking buddies at the lake. I remember back years ago when he quit for a few months he always hung out with him and then started back drinking. I've never cared for the guy but there's nothing I can do about it.

Before, I was tired of dealing with him drinking. Now I'm tired of dealing with the concequenses of him drinking, since he's sober. I hate being in this place. I wish I had never met him.