The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm so sick and tired of my mother's -- what I FEEL like doing is just ending ALL communication with her. I don't always feel that way and it makes me sad to think of not having a relationship with my mother, but she's really been acting like an lately.
She's posted on her Facebook account (which pops up on my main page....) that she's going off to the Hardrock for some gambling and dinner and spending the night at the beach.
She then sends me an email that says "I told a little *white one* on facebook, I'm not really going anywhere"
I mean -- what the ? One of the 2 is a lie and because of the fact that she's a compulsive LIAR I don't even know which is the lie. She's crazy.
My elderly Grandmother has gone to stay with her and Grandma has a car -- after 2 DUI's my mom has no car and no license. She's been taking my Grandma's car out to buy wine though. So, I have no doubt she'd take the car to high tail it off to go gamble and drink it up with her "buddies".
And if she does -- she *will* get drunk and she *will* drive. So -- whatever.
I guess I'm just venting here... I don't know.
I did reply back to her email with a brief comment that sais, "Whatever mom -- have fun spending money you don't have -- how are you going to get there? Taking Grandma's car again?"
She doesn't know that I know she's used the car ... my sisters told me.
Ugh.
Ya know, I'm just so sick of the continual .
-- Edited by canadianguy on Friday 24th of July 2009 02:43:26 PM
-- Edited by debilyn on Saturday 25th of July 2009 04:19:13 AM
Glitter Girl, I hope somebody who can relate will respond soon. I can't imagine how disorienting it must be, to say the least, to have a mother who lies. Bless your heart and here's a hug:
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Glitter Girl}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
My mother was so truthful that it took me a long time to realize that some of her perceptions might not be just exactly the way everything was for sure. But I never doubted that she was telling me exactly what she thought and all of the truth as she saw it. I wouldn't blame you for giving up. That has to be crazy making. Give yourself a lot of credit for being sane.
Temple
__________________
It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
I know that one of the rules with Al-Anon is that I'm really not supposed to allow things like this to get to me.
I'm evidently no where *near* that point yet though -- and it really does bother me.
My husband is out of town -- he gave me a ring a while ago and I mentioned this to him. It wasn't a lengthy discussion -- he just said, "Well... she's going to do what she wants to do and most likely is going to lie about it anyway. Not much anyone can do."
Which is entirely true... but the sad thing is, my Grandmother is not exactly in the best state of mind at the moment. And my guess is -- she's not going to fight my mother and try to make her not drive.
But it is HER car (my Grams)
So -- if mom gets pulled over, there goes her car, it'll be impounded without a doubt. Granted, these are all "ifs" and are not inside of my control.
But my husband said, "Someone ought to just go over there with a $10 jack and take off one of the tires. Problem solved"
Grandma isn't driving right now anyway.
So -- it does make me think about that point.
I hate not knowing what to do or whether or not I should (or ought to) do anything at all.
hello glittergirl, I may get blasted for this one but one time my h had my car and i road around with a friend until i found it. Well he had the keys so what i did was took the spark plug wires your mom would just think the car wasn't working.
I live 4 states away... My sisters are both in her town though.
I talked with my Aunt (she's my mother's sister and is also an alcoholic, but has been sober for 10+ years and has really been a wonderful source of inspiration for me re: dealing with my mom)
She said -- just leave it. Even if one of my sisters removed an entire wheel, my grandma would use her charge card to have a new one delivered and put on.
She's probably right.
Mom is going to do what she wants to do (and surprise, I can't control it, lol)
Glittergirl....I can so relate what you are going through but instead of my mother it's my sister. My hubby acts the same way yours does....She's gonna do what she's gonna do...I'm like you I don't want to deal with this anymore. I spend way to much time obsessing about her that I can't focus on my own life. I'm looking forward to learning some tools on here and some f2f meetings...good luck to you I feel for you
My ex A had huge issues with our cars. He crashed them, got tickets, got fined, got more tickets, crashed and did still more. Every thing he said about them was a lie. At the same time he always wanted me to bail him out.
I absolutely empathise. Al anon does not have rules about what you can and cant do. Getting to detachment is a very long hard road. There are ways to learn it though at www.coping.org.
I know detachment has saved me a great deal. I am no longer totally obsessed with what others are doing.
-- what I FEEL like doing is just ending ALL communication with her. I don't always feel that way and it makes me sad to think of not having a relationship with my mother, but she's really been acting like an