The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In todays C2C reading it talks about Principles above personalities. I think this is a very important part of our program. When I have an issue with someone I can remember "How Important Is It?" and as the Al-Anon's suggested closing states, "though you may not like all of us, you'll love us in a very special way-the way we already love you."
I think this is important to remember when we have a disagreement with someone in the al-anon family. We are part of a family and as today's reading says, "I will keep an open mind toward each person I encounter today. If I am ready to learn, anyone can be my teacher."
I believe this to be true, even those that I don't necessarily agree with can be my teachers. I can learn something from everyone in my al-anon family, even if it is some trait that I don't want to emulate. Anyone can be my teacher. What is the saying? When the student is ready the teacher will arrive? or something to that effect.
It is important to remember why it is that we go to meetings. We don't go to argue or get our way, we go to share experience, strength, & hope. If we get caught up in petty likes and dislikes we are not practicing our al-anon program. If we can remember the common bond that we share it will help us to get past these differences.
In closing I would like to quote a passage from The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marrige. "The open door to helpful answers is communication based on love. Such communication depends on awareness of and respect for each other's well-being and willingness to accept in another what may not measure up to our own standards and expectations."
Love in Recovery, Overcome
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I can Overcome all things through my HP who strengthens me.
the first thing i thought of when i read the quote from "The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage" was, 'yeah. he needs to accept in me that sometimes i am late and keep him waiting... and he should calm down and not explode on me'
the second thought was a lot more humble: '... maybe i should accept the things in him that don't measure up to my own standards...'
I think the principles above personalities was the first real slogan I sunk my teeth into and "got". I realized I needed a program. I needed a structure. I needed a framework from which to operate. Those would be my principles. And while I could talk about having principles, how can anyone really know about their principles w/o really knowing who they are? I had to find out, really delve and see what exactly my principles are. I was contorting and distorting to adjust to everyone that I had no framework.
I love this phrase. It snaps everything into place for me. But it took time for me to really "get" it. Thanks to this program I got plenty of time to sit and chew. hugs, J.
