The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Daughter is living with others, we are still in communication but it hurts my heart that we can't be civil to each other. I miss her even tho she's mostly rotten to me.
Having problems again with my boyfriend and it's breaking my heart.
Scrambling to find a babysitter for this weekend so I can work my second and third jobs and can't afford to pay anyone a reasonable amount. Working on trying to find places for them to be. I can't do this every weekend, something's gotta give.
I'm feeling like going home, curling up in a ball and crying and sleeping as much time away as I can and very alone right now.
I feel sick inside and I want to fix it, I think right now I need time to just be sad and feel these awful feelings that I really don't want to deal with. I'm seriously depressed and I know it.
Yes, it will pass. But while it is right there in your heart it sucks. I am so sorry you are going thru any of this.
And with your daughter, well, sometimes our kids need something we cannot give them, but someone else may be able to. We are parents, we are not perfect. It will be ok.
BF drama is distracting. Focus on it if it makes you feel better. Sleep if you need to. Cry your heart out. You have every right and reason to be sad.
Hey Girl, It all sucks! I had a mental health day yesterday. And felt like most of the day today at work. Take some time for you. I hope it passes soon for you. I hate having the blues. Sincerely,
-- Edited by debilyn on Wednesday 22nd of July 2009 12:09:26 AM
Were in the same boat!! Gad it's crowded huh? I've found myself locked up at the moment and it has been for a while. I don't have a solution for it and need to listen and look to others for their feedback in order to get the gate open again and walk out into the free air. I get to ask HP for directions and then have patience and quiet to listen or look for the solutions. I know its okay to be in a seemingly defeated postion and not give up. I understand that these situations are really temporary and that I need to stay ready to enter the sunlight. I know the sunlight is there. I know from my experiences of having been there, done that before. I've experienced worse and need to keep that in front of me. I'm working on not scrambling around crazy looking for my own solution because often times I am aware that the person looking for the solution is the person who devised the problem. I'm been quiet and patient and open. I have learned that many times the answers that came didn't normally fit my old expectations of how they were supposed to arrive or what they should look like. The darkness is the place to wait and remain open and be okay with what is for now. I willnot forget the miracles of the journey to get here as I encounter another stepping stone. After all I use to view stepping stones as stumbling blocks. I was wrong then also.
I am so sorry you or anyone for that matter has to go through such madness.
I have an AS and it is the most stressful thing ever.
I understand the darkness, the need to withdraw, the panic.
I have come here and shared and vented, and just the sharing and understanding I received helps my spirit, please come and share and try to take of yourself, I have had to learn that for myself over time.
Sometimes you just have to have a good cry and get it all out. It's okay to want to hide for a day or two. It's cathartic for us. I've done that many a time. When Tim was in rehab he painted a box and put mini pumpkins in it. Along with it he put some really good strips of paper in it that had sayings. This is one of my favorites: "Crying only a little is no use. You must cry until your pillow is soaked. Then you can get up and laugh."
So go ahead and have a good cry. It's okay. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I have had many many of those days, you know what nothing at all wrong with just going home curling up in bed with a good move a good book or just a good cry.
Sometimes we have to get it out when we feel mentally ill...After all when we are physically ill what do we do????
Sometimes just a good long sleep makes tomorrow look better.
Here is to a better tomorrow......may you just have a moment of sunshine...first moments....then hours...then who knows days.....
Carolina, you used to share your experinence and support others.
For a long time, I have noticed, the coming here, venting and gone again. People make suggestions as they have for years, then sadly, you come back never trying any of it.
So far it looks like you are working hard on a very difficult situation.
I beg you NOT to let the system get your daughter. I better own that. In my expereince once a parent does this, it is horribly hard to get them back. You will have zero control over your own blood.
Are you in Oregon?
Is daughter still in the same place?
The survival school I mentioned is Catherine Freer. I believe you can google that. YOu did not answer any of my pm. how old is she? has she been using?
Hon the situation is you got into a house where you had to get yet another job to live there, got involved with basically an immature man, from what I saw and felt, I believe you were hoping he would move in and help pay things, and be a family.
Your dream or hopes were shattered. If I were you I would make my life simpler. Move to an affordable home, so I could do more with my kids. Be home.
Work on all your kids and your relationships. Put the boyfriend on hold.
That is me.
I wish I could take your daughter and see if I could help you. My mother then I have an innate uniqueness for difficult kids and animals.
I worked with hundreds of kids Carolina who had problems, MAJOR ones. Over eighteen years of it. I saw parents falling apart.
One boy was plain nuts with everyone but with me, he complied immediately. Its hard to explain.
Today I went to a friends who's dog does not accept anyone but them. I mean barks bites goes nuts with anyone who comes over etc. I had him in my lap ion less than thrity minutes.
My gun toting boys, promiscuous girls to pg girls, Mexican gang kids all were respectfull and appreciative of me and my mother who sent the kids boxes of oranges.
Your daughter is suckig the air out of the room for so many reasons.
Hon my brother went nuts for a long time when our DAddy left us for awhile.
When we give, we learn so much.
I feel like you want joy so badly, and need it, the choices made are not good for you or the kids.
You probably don't remember but I shared with you about not being intimate with anyone, to let your heart really know this person first. Not allowing the intimacy cloud your your growing close in a healthy way.
I didn't tell you what to do but what I felt.
Anyway don't give up on anything. We have to get you and your family thru this.
Keep coming here! Is your daughter contacting you?
Some days life is very very tough. I no longer believe any relationship is going to be stress free. I do think it takes quite a while to create a viable support system.
Maybe you are setting yourself up by wanting your daughter to be civil to you. She's a troubled kid she isn't going to change overnight. I know how very very hard it is to let go of unreasonable expectations. The less I expect the better it is for me.
I also absolutely understand the issue of really struggling financially. I live with a lot of fear around that. I'm looking at doing 2 jobs for a while and I know where that takes me to a place of being absolutely exhausted.
Personally I find it tremendously difficult to slow down, take care of myself, get things ordered and set priorities. I want to do a million things at once and I end up doing none of them very well. I'm glad you have a place you feel safe enough to come and vent.
most of the day today at work. Take some time for you. I hope it passes soon for you. I hate having the blues.
