The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
People often used to say to me when I was under stress (which was actually bombarded when I was with the ex A) that I needed to increase my self care. This week I've been tested, my schedule was changed inadvertently and I am owed some money I am not going to get now for quite a while. There were other issues too that resolved themselves. So rather than obsess and feel sorry for myself I upped my level of self care. Admittely my level of self care is not where it should be but its a lot better than it was. I didn't catastrophize and I let it go. I am certainly not able to let all things go as I would like. Improvements happen one day at a time.
During stress it is always hard for me to remember to take care of myself. That old habit of taking care of everyone else seems to want to jump back into my lap. The key for me is to realize when I need to take care of me.
Recently it seemed that everything was dumping on me and those I care about from all directions. Finally one day I said to myself "Self, you take care of you and let the rest of them do what they need to do for themselves." I felt so much better afterwards and ya know they actually figured most of it out.
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Everything I have ever let go of has claw marks all over it.
I think one reason I did not heed people's advice was because I had no clue what self care actually was. I have a long way to go but there is no question during times of stress it helps me to take time out to take care of me and regroup.
Gone are the days when I look to anyone else to do that for me. I waited 7 plus years for the ex A to help and he didn't. I had to put the focus back on me.
good for you for discovering what self love & care looks like. It was never discussed while I was growing up & I was utterly clueless about it. Today I actually am a priority and now that I focus on me, I can be a better support for my partner. It has actually allowed me to be more loving towards others, by loving me first. It has changed my life.
Way to work it ((( maresie ))))
the stress filled times are when we need it the most.
-- Edited by kitty on Tuesday 21st of July 2009 01:35:29 PM
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
