The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Here is a little history, My husband has been an alcoholic since 14 and started using drugs when he was about 18. I knew he drank when we met but never knew he was addicted. We dated for two years, We separated then got back together ten years later son was born. This is when I realized he had a problem. we separated last time for about 8 Yrs. He was clean and sober when we got back together. Wanted to make a go at our relationship because we knew we loved each other. Fast forward to now back in March I got sick and tired of being sick and tired put him out told him he could not come home until he was complete. He did go into a program and is/was doing well. This is what we fight about because he says I do not have faith in him, and that I live in the past. I tried to explain to him is that is all I have to go by. He was in rehab until about a week ago. I would ask him either questions about the past or how he would handle something if confronted with it now. He went into the blame game. Didn't go back to rehab because I don't trust him I need to know where he is and what he is doing. I refuse to accept blame for that told him just like you came home you could have went right back to the rehab center. He is going back into the program but I have a feeling this is going to be the longest three weeks of my life. He does want me to go to alanon very hard right now because i do not have access to a car. So he uses that to say He is changing but I am not. I truly need to figure out how to detach with love.
I'd encourage you to call your local Al-Anon hotline and explain your vehicle situation to them. You might be able to have someone give you a ride. And if for any reason a ride isn't forthcoming through an Al-Anon member, I'd even try calling the local AA hotline and seeing if one of them can help you get to an Al-Anon meeting.
I know I've given a few rides myself to members in need.
*he does not want u in al anon because u don't have a car* thats a new one . find a meeting announce that u need a ride and ask if anyone is able to help you out . You need a program if yor going to continue in this relationship , u need support from people who understand exactly how your feeling in any situation and will help u walk thru it . If he is still blaming you for his problems he isn't ready to take responsibility for his own stuff , don't take it on . he says u don' trust him welllllll maybe there is good reason for feeling that way trust dosent come just because some one is sober trust is earned . Many alcoholics feel that because they are sober WE should be ok = NOT . we too need to recover . asking questions about the future is futile no one know the future don't waste your time worrying about it now and the past well it is the past . You need to talk this out with another al anon member , your husb will never truly understand how his behavior has affected you any more than u will understand his compulsion to drink . Al-Anons understand me , AA's understand him . Your recovery is as important as his . please take care of your own needs and leave him to God and AA .
An addict is gonna do what an addict is gonna do, sober or not. There's nothing you can do about. Turn him over to his recovery program and his HP. That's all you can do about it.
What you can do is work on your recovery. Your recovery has to be about you and for you, regardless if your husband chooses sobriety or not. It's about taking back your life and living the life you so richly deserve.
If you still can't get a ride to the meetings, look at public transportation. At the very least think about attending our online meetings here. They were a lifesaver for me until I could get the transportation issues worked out. However, there is nothing more beneficial than the face to face meetings. There are plenty of people willing to help out. You really get the most benefit from the physical meetings. Please learn about as much as you can about this disease and how it affects you and your family. Keep coming back. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty <--the cat
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
