I have questions about recognizing an alcoholic from social drinker - Al-Anon Family Group

hanila · Member

I have questions about recognizing an alcoholic from social drinker

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

hanila wrote:
... "they drink a lot." ...Since my ex was an alcoholic, "this scares me." I don't know if I should be concerned or not.
..."I'm nervous of any over drinking,..." beyond a little social drinking once in a while (and maybe a little buzz once in awhile). Since I'm not an alcoholic (and no one in my family is), I can enjoy a drink once in awhile and never have one again...ever...

Should I be concerned?

Hanila you are already concerned and scared and nervous. You've already
experienced being married to one alcoholic already without intending to so your
questions and statements are valid.

I'm ex-military and will say that the military consumes volumes of alcohol as a natural
part of the employment. They might wag their finger at it like a doting wife however
what really happens...really happens.
He's a pilot...Alcoholism doesn't care what he is. Being a pilot is neither a better or
lessor qualification for becoming alcoholic. There have been many incidences of
pilots flying drunk or after drinking (happen to have done that one myself).
He's got a drinking group or similar men and they support and enable the problem.
They drink or are ready to drink often or all the time...that is classic "being under the
influence of alcohol."
"...maybe a little buzz." is a drinking catch phrase for I know it is a mind and mood altering
chemical. The awareness that should go with that is that the human body isn't
made for alcohol. It actually starts to reject it and act funny from the first drink.

What is the important wake up call from your post for me is that inspite of already
having had several alcohol and other addicted relationships I continued to have more
and marry back into the disease of alcoholism and addiction with no further
awareness and an increase of fear and trepidation. I did not break away from that
behavior until the disease brought me to my knees right at the door of the Al-Anon
Family groups. I was killing myself and couldn't stop just as the alcoholic was doing
the same.

Re-inventory your post and then go find the hotline number for the Al-Anon family
groups in the white pages of your telephone book. Write down the meeting places
and times of the meetings and commit to running to the earliest one available.
There will be lots of very helpful literature just waiting for you to pick up and lots
of members there willing to share what it was like for them and what it is like for
them now and what they have done to change it or are doing to help save their
lives. www.afg.org can direct you to meetings in your area.

"If someone else drinking concerns you..." is the main qualification for membership.

(((((hugs))))) smile

Temple · ~*Service Worker*~

I'm older, so that may have bearing on my perspective.

Anytime anyone mentions alcohol or drinking my antennae go up. It is just my experience that normal people don't talk about it much at all.

It is there or it isn't. It isn't that important.

I think if the pilot is mentioning it and he is older than say, 17, he may very well have a problem.

Anyone who talks about having a drink or two every day "before dinner" or whatever alerts me. I don't think normal people would bring it up in conversation. Do they say, "Every morning, I brush my teeth."

I think anyone who would describe himself as a "drunk magnet" would want to have the antennae up anytime he found himself talking to a new acquaintance. Odds are...

I could be very wrong, because I have lived a very sheltered life.

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

Your boy friend is the only one that can answer that question , what matters is when he drinks does his behavior upset you ? and yes an alcoholic can be a proffessional and drink , he wouldnt be the first . i think u already know the answer to yor question . Louise

Karilynn · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Hanila))),

My husband was the typical functioning alcoholic. He wouldn't drink on the job even if his clients were drinking during dinner. He wouldn't touch a drop. This disease doesn't care what profession you are in.

The fact that you have come here, says alot. For me, now that my husband is gone I wouldn't get knowingly involved with someone who has an addiction. I loved my Tim more than life itself. We had known each other long before either of us had any idea that he had this horrible disease. But now if I was ready to get back into a relationship, I wouldn't do it w/someone with these issues. It would just be too much for me, eventhough I know I could handle it. I just choose not to be around it anymore. What you choose to do is up to you. We are not in your shoes. We are here to support you in which ever path you decide to take. Please keep coming back. Love and blessings to you and your family.

Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty <--the cat

Inpain · Senior Member

Hanilla,

My addictions counselor stated that 100% of his clients are what we'd consider "professional" people. He said the drop down drunks don't make it to his office.

This is your key phrase "LOVE to drink"

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