The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have found my self all day wanting to read and acquire knowledge from others. Today was a good day, my AH starts drinking everyday about 4pm and drinks until 7 or so; JB on the rocks...As long as the kids and I are at home, cook dinner, etc.. he is tolerable. But should we have plans away from the house, he thinks we are neglecting him. When we have good days, it's as if the kids and i are just waiting for something to set him off, basically we are on eggshells around here all the time. Sometimes i feel embarrassed that i stay and haven't gotten out, some of my friends don't understand and are amazed that i can keep things together by carrying on like nothing is wrong . Sometimes i just think that everything will be okay and then all of the sudden things go south.
Sorry to ramble on, but i am so in need of answers and/or solutions to get my life back on track for myself and my kids.
As long as the kids and I are at home, cook dinner, etc.. he is tolerable. But should we have plans away from the house, he thinks we are neglecting him.
What if you invited him with? Im guessing if it were my A he would want to stay home and drink and find any excuse to. Then when you come home and he wants to think you neglected him simply tell him I asked you if you wanted to come...
Sorry to ramble on, but i am so in need of answers and/or solutions to get my life back on track for myself and my kids.
No need to be sorry this is what this board is for! We aren't here to give you answers or solutions. We will share what we have done. You can chose to listen to us all but only take what you like. This program is for you. Do things for YOU and not for others. Learn to be a little bit selfish! Enjoy life.
I have learned to mind my own business and to stop worrying about others, stop trying to fix/change/help A's. I had to step aside and let him fall on his own. Keep coming back!
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"Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip." Will Rogers
You said, "some of my friends don't understand and are amazed that i can keep things together by carrying on like nothing is wrong . "
To you, is there anything wrong?
The program helped me to see that by walking on eggshells, I was not living the life my HP intended for me to live. The program showed me how to focus on, and start caring for myself. It was my experience, that this change in me was unacceptable to my AH. He needed me to continue my enabling. I had to decide, who was my HP?
I hope you find some f2f meetings to go to. In the beginning, I embraced change, I devoured the program by purchasing all the literature I could afford, and getting myself to as many meetings as possible. It was my personal goal, to have many more good days.
Keep coming back, Nancy. It works!
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
That's just it, he is always invited. He is not interested in what the kids are doing. Our kids are very active in school and sports; he choose not to be involved. He's excuse is he has too work. He chooses to work. For example our varsity girls basketball team made it regionals this last year and were playing out of town (a 5hr drive) because our daughter was traveling with the school to cheer, i felt the need to be there. It was his choice to stay behing and work. He chooses not to be apart of the kids activities and a part of our small community
Of, course i am selfish for going and supporting our kids. Isn't it our job as parents to be supportive and give guidance. Not to mention as parents we should now who our kids are hanging with and who their parents are?? My AH thinks he should be my #1 priority, i think God should be our #1 priority, then our kids and then our spouses.....am i wrong? He is always telling me to get my priorities straight!
Thanks for helping me know that what i am feeling is normal.....
