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I posted a few days ago about my sister overdosing once again. To help make this clear I'll call the sister that overdosed sister #1 and the other sister #2.
Yesterday sister #1's doctor asked to meet with the family today so my mother, sister #2, my brother and myself went over there. We sat for over an hour past the time they had set up for us so my brother had to leave. That left my mom, sister #2 and myself to meet with the doctor. Sister #1 that did the overdose was in the room as well.
The doctor asked each one of us to say a few words about why we felt she was there. When sister #2 was talking, and I do not remember what it was that she said, but sister #1, who was sitting beside me, made some sort of noise so I looked at her and she said "I'll kill her", I said WHAT did you say? She said NOTHING very hateful so I just let it go. NOT a good thing to say when your sitting in the psyche ward, meeting with the psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker and other members of the family. After everyone had spoke the doctor wanted to know what the interchange between myself and sister #1 was all about and I told him that she said she was going to kill sister #2. Sister #1 say's "I was just kidding, I didn't mean it." She did not deny saying it. So she pretty much cemented her immediate future.
They asked us to fill out affadavit's to be presented to the judge on Thursday and she will be sent to court ordered 30 day in house rehab. She will be taken from the psyche ward to rehab in handcuffs and if she gives them any problems they will also put shackels on her.
She is not a happy camper but I can't help that. Mom didn't want to sign but I told her, ok if you take her home and she does this again and succeeds how are you going to feel? Personally I would feel guilty because I didn't take that one step that just might have made a difference. So mom filled out the affadavit and signed it.
I hate that it has come to this but sooner or later she has to be put in a position to suffer the consequences of what she has done. This may get nasty before it is over but I honestly feel like we did what we needed to do.
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Everything I have ever let go of has claw marks all over it.
That's a progress note for the family as I see it. Some alcoholics get sober the tighter their situation gets. Let go and Let God. This works if you all work it. The family might do well checking out the local Al-Anon meetings in your area; get meeting schedules, literature and the like. Suggestion. (((((Hugs)))))
Denial is so amazing to me but I guess I can put it in perspective like this... A's want to protect their disease by being in denial. I guess your Mom's disease/denial is thinking that she is protecting her daughter. Even when the evidence is standing right in front of them they have the ability to deny it and not see it. It's truly baffling.
-- Edited by Christy on Tuesday 14th of July 2009 02:43:25 PM
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Mobirdie, I love your logo and your sign off. I always laugh or smile when I get to the bottom of your posts. And I know how that is--not me, so much, but I am related by blood and marriage to folks that leave a lot of claw marks on the rare occasions when they turn loose of something.
I think it was great that it worked out that one sister said whatever she did and it set the other sister off. Thanks to her reaction, she may get to be in a safe place long enough for something good to happen inside her. Or not. but she Will be locked up.
And in the meantime, the rest of you can draw some easy breaths.
Your mother quite possibly/probably is never going to detach. I hope you can, more and more. None of us likes for our mothers to be upset--especially when it is one or more of our siblings doing the upsetting. I learned over time that my mother was a lot stronger than either of her daughters. And that the drama didn't get to her nearly as bad as it did me.
I hope you are taking care of you.
Hugs, Temple
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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
