The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have spent the majority of my life trying to protect the addicts/alcoholics in my family from themselves. I thank my higher power every night for this program for without it I hate to think where I would be right now.
My sister has a long history of alcohol and prescription drug abuse. I have lost count of the number of times we have gotten to her just minutes before she would have been dead. She has gotten to the point that if she has run out of places to get prescription pain meds she will have some sort of surgery just to get more. This just blows my mind! She recently had surgery once again and on Thursday of last week had a new script filled of 60 pills. By 4 pm on Friday she had taken 50 of them as well as a ton of tylenol. I do not know how she lived through this but she did.
To make matters worse she has been living with my mom for the past 4 months. Dad passed away in April and she was "there to help mom". Yea right! It was just someone else for mom to take care of. Sis has no money to speak of, her hubby is in Texas doing who knows what and whether it is legal or not. So what do we do with her?
Going against what my sponsor told me to do (stay out of it and mind my own business) which will probably get me a good chewing out I did go visit her. Now I know that trying to talk logic to someone who is active is like trying to nail jello to a tree but yea I had to try it again. I wasn't mean to her, I was totally calm but gave her the bottom line. Get help now or we will wash our hands completely. One of the things I asked her was if she remembered how she felt when her daughter tried to commit suicide. Then I said well multiply that by about 50 and that is where you have put your mom and the rest of the family. I then asked her what she was going to do when Mom wasn't with us anymore. None of the rest of the family is going to step in and babysit her so it might just be time to grow up and learn to take care of herself.
It is SO frustrating! This woman is almost 60 years old and it's like dealing with a 14 year old. Just about the time I think I have made a little bit of progress with her my mother steps in and rescue's her again. My brother even called her husband and told him to get his royal arse back up here and take care of his wife. I'll believe that when I see it happening.
So what do I do? I can't protect my mother from any more pain. She just keeps jumping back in the pool and asking for more. I don't know where my sister is going to go after she gets out of the psyche ward at the hospital. I discussed rehab with her and once again she promised she would go, that she would get help, that she didn't want to live like this anymore. Once again I put little hope in that actually happening beause she is like most other people with an addiction issue, she will promise me anything I want to hear just to get me off her back.
Is there a rehab for people that have little money and are on medicaid? I would like to find one that is on the other side of the country if possible.
GEEZE..............I hate this disease and what it does to the family not to mention what it does to the person suffering.
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Everything I have ever let go of has claw marks all over it.
Mom needs to do what she feels. If she doesn't, with out AlAnon she would die of guilt.
She is 14 remember? Or whatever age she started using.
That is another reason we have NO control over it.
You have to do what you do. It is part of our learning process. I had mine come home until I just knew I was done.
Now I hope he comes home after prison if he survives. I would like to have him around for as long as he may live.
again take care of you. anti stress is what you need if you are going to keep working on fixing this.
Don't allow the disease to tear you up.
Getting them sober has lots you can tell your mom about. She needs to know by taking care of sis, she is helping her to be sicker. It is a hard one to take.
hugs,debilyn who is about to strangle her Basset who keeps standing with his head in a pigs house barking at them! rrrrrr
I can sympathize. Read my post. Seems like we are doing the same thing repeating our pattern. Sometimes when we say no it is the best thing for our A's. Hard to do I know. Working on it.
