The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Was just reading lots of posts and got to thinking....
Everyone keeps saying this is a disease, I liked the post that compared it to a mental disease - comparing it to a physical disease - I can see that straining my logic...
A mental disorder can make ppl hate you, fear you, resent you, try to correct you and overall not understand you....because a lot of ppl don't really understand mental disorders...
I suffer from depression and anxiety. I also belong to a forum and group - and the mental disorders vary widely. So does the effects of alcoholism. Although there are common similarities, there are also major differences from alcoholic to alcoholic - ie. the way they act when under the influence of alcohol...
I think I understand a little better now, still putting the pieces together but I think I got a few together....
Sometimes this disease makes me hate people. It's hard to get out of isolation when you are sick from being around As and don't wanna risk being around any new As. Yeah, sometimes this diesease makes me hate people.
I heard somewhere once that alcoholism is the only disease you can get blamed for having. I thought that was pretty funny, but there is some truth to it.
Personally, I think about it in terms of eating disorders. Both addiction and eating disorders cause people to engage in self destructive behaviors and act in ways their friends and family disprove of. This thought helps me to remain compassionate when my ex-bf is engaging in truly bull-headed, arrogant and idiotic self-destructive behaviors. I can still love and feel compassionate towards him, while hating his actions.
I agree on the eating disorders bit. I've suffered from one for many years and I often FORGET how similiar they are and how you just can't FORCE someone to get better if they don't want to, on your time frame. At the same time though, it also helps me to understand alot about me and my need to be needed and how incredibly toxic it can be when two very self destructive people become involved when neither of them are in any sort of recovery OR how easily it can be for someone to relapse.
I think I am definately gaining more compassion for my abf but I am still very angry too. Thank you all for your replies. I am going to keep working on the program. :)
