Update from last post where A told me he is going to inpatient treatment and will need a new liver.

I think when I posted I was just really scared and angry with him. I didn't know what to think. Maybe that was it I didn't THINK at all. I just started worrying and much of what I have learned hear sort of slipped out of my mind.

I've known for awhile something was wrong. He had many signs of liver/kidney problems and often complained about pain. And I would just nicely tell him to go to a doctor, but he was always too scared I think and wouldn't go.

I'm not sure what made him go this time. Maybe he truly has hit his bottom or maybe it just because he is sick. I know that for today he is alright. I still don't know any specifics on it, but maybe I am better off not knowing? I still at times would like to see papers saying he needs a new liver...but shoudln't I just mind my own business and worry about my own recovery?

I am grateful he is choosing inpatient treatment. Whether it will work out for him or not is out of my control and something I can not waste time worrying about. I have enough problems of MY own to worry about I can't be bothered with other things right now.

I look back the past couple of days and see how much of this worrying has taken from me. I just couldn't get my mind off of it. Because of some things he said to our son last I saw him. I kept thinking he had already died. I called the hospital a few times, called a couple treatment centers. I had a friend call his girlfriend just to see what she would say about him if someone asked for him, but never had her say who she really was. She actually happened to talk to him and he thought she was someone else and said he was going to treatment next week and is finishing up getting things ready to go.

Now I sit and think about that and ask myself "have I gone crazy" why did I waste all that time worrying about him when he is fine? I could have accomplished a lot more not worrying about him. But as of today he is back in my god box because it's too much for me to handle and I can't control him. He has his own HP just like I have my own.

So I guess this just is a reminder that I need to be more patient, THINK, Live Let Live, Keep it Simple...and all the rest!! I have been here about 7 months and I see progression so I just need to keep reminding myself I can't be perfect or I wouldn't need Alanon and I know I DEFINITELY need Alanon and all of you!

I have never had anyone go into recovery besides a friend who never makes it very far. So this is going to be completely new to me. So if anyone has any esh on their A going into inpatient treatment I would love to hear what you have to share. I know not to have any expectations.


-- Edited by Melissa21 on Saturday 11th of July 2009 09:02:24 PM