The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
look elsewhere. Aloha Family. I was feeling a bit over weight in the mental, emotional and spiritual self and stopped what I was doing for a minute to look at why. It only takes a minute now LOL. What I found out was that I wasn't asking my self the "what is my part in the situation first". I was asking "what is her part or their part in the situation first". Yes the added weight was due to the resentments I was carrying while waiting for someone to step up and raise their hand over their head and yell, "yes Jerry F, its my fault you're feeling sooo heavy. I own up to every bit of it just like you see it." No one came over or called to offer that...go figure!! I was ready to go get a bigger wheelbarrel because the load seemed to be getting larger. Thing is I also took the resent- ments out on the wheelbarrel also. So that lead to a 10th step. You know "Continued to take personal inventory and when we (I) were wrong promptly admitted it. I'm a resentment monger, a blame manufacturer and vendor. I deal in finger pointing outwardly and evasion and denial so that I can feed the self rightousness I dabble in. Gad that sounds so philosophical!! LOL
I don't do it all the time. It's all the time I do it that adds weight. I don't exercise all the time either and I should do it more often especially those sit ups where I look to myself first rather than to others. I know why I carry resentments and why then I resort to blame...fear of being honest with myself and others. I thought I was through with that.
Thinking is another character defect of mine...need to let others do that for me and my HP.
Jump in anytime with your feedback. (((((hugs)))))
I recently had to haul myself up on the rack for a stretch and to get myself to STOP THINKING for a breather.
Knowing oneself is an asset only if one will face the truth about oneself and then be prepared to do some corrective work if needs be. Something you are not afraid of, and neither am I.
Knowing oneself is a liability if one is not prepared to acknowledge the truth and change something in one self to make oneself a healthier person. Something you are striving for; me too.
As for exercising, it is important to remember to PACE oneself and not go at it like a bull-in-a-china-shop. You know, start with a gentle warm up, find your pace, begin to exercise, and then cool down.
Then get in the shower, wash off the sweat and easy those muscles and make sure you exercise on a regular basis so that those muscles get used to it, don't seize up, and become stronger so that one does not suffer from the exercise that really is a good toner.
Well, that is how I see it. And you know me Jerry, I am a slow learner, though a willing pupil; once I have something under my belt I become a persevering person, willing to perfect the effort and grow [something I see in you too]...when the going gets tough, the tough get going...that's you Jerry.
(((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))) coming your way and only use the wheelbarrow to transport positive bundles into your life. Ditch the peat-bog! Too heavy.
Mahalo, dear friend. Go look for that Honu once more. I am coming over spiritually to visualise the scene on your gorgeous beach. Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
My dear friend, who is not allowed to go to the airport, I love you.
What I believe helps me is to drop the rock. Go for a long walk and look at the beauty around you, play with kids, look under rocks.
Take your wife to the beach, spoil her. Take you, and move your body. The world can get so dang heavy. It is ok to step out and play! All mammals play, there is a reason for that. It refuels us, helps us see what is really important.
There is that question,"Is it really that important?"
You helped me so much when I was still healing. I know you have it in you, to help you.
Find some person who has an animal santuary, and ride her horse, I am sure you could lay in her grass with Arnie pig and give him belly rubs!
Jerry when I groom Elgin, ride him, check my dogs paws all 32xs four of them for stupid grass seeds, I think of nothing but what I am doing.
Give your hear/mind a rest. Even the creator rested for petes sake!
Now go have fun, and yes I am telling you what to do! giggle, love,debilyn Yikes I hope tea, tom and tlcate don't notice me being bossy!I am the black sheep mod! haha
I am so grateful for Step 10. I can so relate to your share right now and find that when I look at my part in it, I see that I have either erred or set someone else up into expectations that they cannot deliver.
Mahalo,
Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Thank You so much for your honest share. It reminds me that no matter how long I am in this program I a a work in progress and will always need to "Practice thses Principles in all my Affairs.
I too have turned around and discovered that wheelbarrel.
Thanks HP for Alanon and people like Jerry who are so dilegent in carrying the message and "Walking the Walk"
You and I both need to turn the "though I was through with that" thingy over to the care of a power or powers greater than ourselves!
I had a slip this week regarding my ex. Someone ran into her and was giving me the low down on her. At one point, even as I was calmly and seemingly unaffectedly listening to things, one little comment about her had me in a flash listening to myself make a ugly little judgmental statement. Even as it was spewing out I could feel how it was icky. I dug down and found some resentment in there. Ayup. Amazing how that stuff can hid in the nooks and crannies from us like the glitter that was dumped on the floor of my house years ago that to this day will release a hidden morsel. I clean it up every time. Yet there always seems to be more! (Side note...want to give the gift that keep giving to someone....Put glitter on it!)
And oh the blame game!!! I am "getting bettter" with that one, with regards to blaming others anyway. Still have some work to do when that step 10 reveals it was I who made the mistake.
We were sharing on blame this week in my Tuesday ftf meeting. Someone was reading and I had a vision of myself in the role of Jim Carrey in the movie "Liar, Liar".
There is a scene where he is trying to get out of performing his duties in court as a lawyer...because he can't lie .... he goes into the bathroom and is beating himself up to make it look like he has been mugged so he can ask the judge to postpone things.
Another man comes into the men's room and see's him hurting himself.
Carrey looks at the man and says, "Do you mind??? I'm kicking my a$$!!"
I loved that connection and the visual sits with me now and pops up everytime I want to start blaming or judging myself when I make a mistake. And its amazing how many opportunities I have had just since Tuesday!! LOL!
Thanks for sharing my brother. Your honesty about yourself helps me.
In life as in this program I use an expression that on occasion I will have what I call a "weak spell". A weak spell to me is not the same as a slip. Weak spells last longer and cause me to think less of myself because I know I am wrong but somehow justify anyway. That does not in any way make my actions right. When I get honest with myself most of the time I find that the root of my weak spell is a build up of resentments. The key here is build up. Why do I let resentments build up and control me? After the fact I always want to do what David said Jim Carrey did, KMA. I have also realized that during these times I am asking my HP for very little guidance, keeping him on the shelf and handling it all by myself--------- and I know from experience that has never been a good idea.
Slips, weak spells, blame, fear, and resentments are always going to raise thier ugly head reguardless of how hard we try with this program to fight them off. But, aren't we glad, because of the program that now we see them for what they are, recognize them and have the tools in our tool box to make them go away. Wire snips come to mind.
Jerry, you know I would be glad to loan you my wire snips, but at this time they have become dull-------------------------------- From Over Use.
This is the best "reality" college one can be enrolled in. I'm glad I came here for the ESH with love I got. I have to say honestly that I went to a morning meeting (other program) and then sat with 3 other "guys" from Al-Anon for coffee after that and listened, listened, listened. I've got a couple of things to do for practice which I have not been practicing for a while...nasty consequences for not practicing...that I am now planning to reinvolve in my life.
Each of you here have shared what works for you and works for others. I am grateful for your love and sharing (and that is one of the things I am needing to increase effort with...gratitude, thought out and written down and expressed. The other is to take "breaks" during the day from what I am doing now so that I can focus on what is beautiful and gifting for me. I don't imagine that it will be a horse ride or rubbing a pigs belly or cleaning out between the toes of the two pups Chloe and Sadie. Continuing with the self knowledge is most important as that is who I take "out there" and "out there" doesn't need anymore insanity.
I have found that as valuable as women have been in my recovery I have also needed the feedback from the other men as I are one and just as human as the next. Thanks David and RLC...I also am a Jim Carrey wanna be with the reality that I've done stuff in more seriousness to KMA than he has done to be humorous and get paid for. Hey!! I've already paid for it...might I just start laughing at it?
In any case...Mahalo and my deepest Love (Aloha) for your support.
.... he goes into the bathroom and is beating himself up to make it look like he has been mugged so he can ask the judge to postpone things. 