how do you find Peace? - Al-Anon Family Group

florida · Member

how do you find Peace?

Peggy7 · ~*Service Worker*~

I work to focus on my blessings. What am I grateful for today. Once my mind begins making that list and concentrating on all the good there is in my life. I can feel lighter and move on by doing the next right thing. Sounds like lots of decisions may be in the works for you. Finding and setting boundaries helps me, what I will accept in my life, what helps me maintain my serenity. Asking myself, "how important is peace to me". Glad you are here, keep coming back. When in doubt attend a face to face meeting. Find one that fits you, that helps hold you up and comforts you during these times of sorrow. Learn the tools that can save your life and recapture your sanity.

Peggy7

kitty · ~*Service Worker*~

I didnt find any peace until I had worked my twelve steps... worked to resolve unresolved emotional baggage... learn to cope with new ways for daily living... grow to love myself, actively... set boundaries & follow through on them... learn to mind my own business, constantly... then begin to be grateful for whatever I could... then I found peace & serenity but it never came until I had done all that foot work first. I am calm & happy. I no longer take things personally... I leave other people's issues with them. Today I could sit right by another & know their stuff has nothing to do with me, with full acceptance. Today I focus on right NOW & no longer worry about tomorrow and I experience joy & happiness, it just bubbles up on it's own.

All the hard work was well worth it, I love myself today & my life. Today I am positive & it came from working program in al-anon. Thank god!

-- Edited by kitty on Saturday 4th of July 2009 03:14:40 PM

Overcome · Senior Member

Florida,
Peggy said it very well, blessings, boundaries, gratitude list, f2f meetings all help, I have also found that the Just for Today poem that is found on one of our Al-anon bookmarks is helpful, I'll retype it here:

Just for Today

Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for 12 hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that 'Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myslef to it.

Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will leaern something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that reeequires effort, thought and concentration.

Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don't want to do-just for exerciese . I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt, they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my vice lowm, be courteous, criticeze not one bit. I won't find fault wit hanything, not try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.

Just for today I will have a program, I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will ahve myself from two pests; hurry and indecision.

Just for today I will ahve a quiet half hour all by myslf and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspecitve of my life.

Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to employ what is beautiful and to believe that as I give to the world so the world will give to me.

Prayer for Today

Lord, make me an intrstument of Thy Pease. Where there is hatred let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.

O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love; for it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned ; and it is in dying that we are born to eteral life.

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rosielightshines · ~*Service Worker*~

kitty said-------I didnt find any peace until I had worked my twelve steps... worked to resolve unresolved emotional baggage... learn to cope with new ways for daily living... grow to love myself, actively... set boundaries & follow through on them... learn to mind my own business, constantly... then begin to be grateful for whatever I could... then I found peace & serenity but it never came until I had done all that foot work first. I am calm & happy. I no longer take things personally... I live other people's issues with them. Today I could sit right by another & know their stuff has nothing to do with me, with full acceptance. Today I focus on right NOW & no longer worry about tomorrow and I experience joy & happiness, it just bubbles up on it's own.

i say------ amen to the above.i got into meets, sponsor work, 12 steps work to find out WHY i did not love me enough to demand what is right and fair and repectful and safe for me........i had to get rid of the low self esteem by going back and finding all the injuries and working the steps on them and feeling the feelings......NOW, i do not allow abuseive people or drama queens/kings chaotic people in my life..........i remove me from it........and yea, mind my own business...........live and let live and if it is not acceptable how one lives their life, i either distance myself from it, definitely detach, and i may even r emove me permanently..............i also take responsibility for my feelings only............never another's............even if i offend a person, i take responsibility , make proper amends and then move on.........if they retain negative feelings about me after i have reconcilled w/them or tried to reconcile??? it is their issue , not mine............as long as i am doing what is right by me...loving me.....and sharing that with SAFE others, i am fine with me...............i am happier than i ever was............more at peace............i see more good coming my way b/c i am working hard on me.

take what you can use and leave the rest

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha Florida...It comes with practice and an open mind...listening to others in
recovery without judgement and considering other points of view rather than
my own old narrow myopic perceptions. When I started to consider the input
and feedback others spoke about that led them to a more peaceful spiritual
condition I learned and practiced that because they had what I wanted and
they didn't withhold it from anyone. One of the practices I learned is how to
sit quietly anywhere I wanted and needed to, then calm and relax myself
inwardly and outwardly and then project myself into the creation around me
blocking out disturbances. That is only one way. Another is to envision
myself sitting or laying relaxedly in the outstretched palms of my HP and
knowing that only peace could be had there. There are lots of other ways.
It comes over time and with practice. Keep coming back.

(((((hugs))))) smile

debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

I talk, listen, follow, trust my life to HP. love, debilyn

nmike · ~*Service Worker*~

I have wanted to find inner peace for most of my adult life. As I said the A acts and I react. But not just my marriage but family of origin, work, friends. Having been in the Alanon program I have devloped much better boundaries and found answers to my questions and have a safe place to go with my problems and concerns. I have inner peace more often than not. It feels so good. Keep looking and it will come to you.

In support,
Nancy

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.