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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I'm expecting a miracle:)or should I say another one?:)
Post Info TOPIC: I'm expecting a miracle:)or should I say another one?:)
shellyj123


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I'm expecting a miracle:)or should I say another one?:)
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Went to bed feeling like I was truly blessed and woke up feeling the same. 

It's been two WHOLE weeks since I FINALLY reached the point of all out insanity and had to walk away from someone that I love, one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life. 

I walked away to save myself.....someone that I didn't think was worth saving not to long ago. 
I walked away to keep from hurting me and him anymore. 
I walked away because I loved him enough to do so, and loved myself again. 
I walked away because I wanted peace, serenity and happiness in my life again.
I walked away because I was powerless to change what was.....and the insanity had to stop and never would as long as I went back over and over and over for every bit of it to feed my addiction. 

My addiction to him as a codie was as strong as his is to alcohol I have no doubt.  I would have never dreamed that I was capable of such behaviors as I have enganged in in the past 8 mths.........crazy maker is what I was:)

The day I walked away was the day I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me and it was ok to be me again, to smile again, to play, to have fun, and to live life......the life I have TODAY and no longer live in the past of what he and I had or what I thought we had or could.

I live today.....for today.  I still love him and one day he and I may find our way together again.......if it is HP's will NOT mine.........maybe we won't.  Either way I will have a full happy life because EXABF is not the source of my happiness.......I am......HP is!!!!

I read somewhere that HP never takes something from our grasp without replacing it with something BETTER.  I think about the VERY BEST TIMES that EXABF and I shared, some of the best times I have EVER had in my entire life,  and then I imagine BETTER THAN THAT!!! WOW!!!! I am going to be one lucky(luckier I should say) woman one day:):):)!!!  I think about this when I miss EXABF still and it lifts me right back up:).......

Yes MIP family I am EXPECTING A MIRACLE!!!

thanks for letting me share......
shelly



-- Edited by shellyj123 on Thursday 2nd of July 2009 01:02:45 PM

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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!

Only God can turn a mess into a message.

Prayin' on it, Stayin' on it, I will survive it.

If nothing ever changes, nothing ever changes.
Christy


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It's been two WHOLE weeks........I'm expecting a miracle:)
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Looking back at where/who you were, it may have already happened!!  biggrin


-- Edited by Christy on Thursday 2nd of July 2009 11:21:01 AM

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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them.  And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
shellyj123


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Thanks Christy:)

__________________

Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!

Only God can turn a mess into a message.

Prayin' on it, Stayin' on it, I will survive it.

If nothing ever changes, nothing ever changes.
Overcome


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I'm expecting a miracle:)or should I say another one?:)
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shellyj123 wrote:
I read somewhere that HP never takes something from our grasp without replacing it with something BETTER. 

 I really like that quote. It gives me hope for today. I too had to make the decision to walk away from my alcoholic husband. The relationship was too toxic for me to live in. When I think sometimes that things can't get any better, I'm going to remember this quote. It is going to help me immensely I know.

I too am codependent and went from a very capable independent woman who was taking care of herself, mom and daughter to a totally dependent, sniveling shrew. (Webster's definition of a woman who is a shrew: a nagging evil-tempered woman.) I feel now, since walking away that I am returning to my old self. I have even had people tell me that I look better and am like my old self again. He was really taking it out of me.

It's like you said, "The day I walked away was the day I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me and it was ok to be me again, to smile again, to play, to have fun, and to live life......the life I have TODAY and no longer live in the past of what he and I had or what I thought we had or could." That's where I am today. Living in this day only and not taking anything for granted. For this day is precious, because I'm trading a day of my life for it and I want it to be gain, and not loss, success and not failure, happiness, not saddness, joy and not regret.

I do not regret the decision I made to "walk away" I have been a much happier person because of it.

Thanks for the quote!
Overcome



-- Edited by Overcome on Thursday 2nd of July 2009 07:32:25 PM

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I can Overcome all things through my HP who strengthens me.
Jerry F


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Aloha Shelly...Great share and growth.  I am happy for you and with you!!

Yay!!

Keep those palms facing outward and upward and letting go...more's coming
back.

(((((hugs))))) smile

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Lilly Burn


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Good to hear you are doing so well Shelly...I am getting there too, I knew we would...Hugs Lilly

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I'm expecting a miracle:)or should I say another one?:)