The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just worked my 1st step "again" with my new sponsor. The first time, my A boyfriend was still active. Since he went into recovery and in a 1/2 house, I found myself wanting to take control and force solutions again especially after he broke off our 7 year relationship. What working this wonderful step again has reminded me is that he, although in recovery, is STILL AN ALCOHOLIC/ADDICT! I forgot that somewhere along the way!
While driving home after a meeting and verbalizing my 1st step work with my sponsor, I felt 50 lbs lighter. I needed that reminder that sober does not mean better or sane. After putting my A in my god box and getting busy on that 1st step again, I got better. Verbalizing it made me believe it! I feel free to let him work his program and for me to work my program. I feel free to trust the process of recovery. I feel free knowing that I have choices that include not getting crazy headed, insane, or depressed when things don't go my way because... I am powerless over this A... drinking/drugging or not!
It's natural, I think, to wonder what my future holds with this man... What I know is that if I don't get better, we won't get better if there is any reconciliation down the road. Now I can concentrate on managing my life and not allowing the recovering A to manage my life. How beautiful is that!
"Free at last, Free at last, thank God almighty, I'm free at last!" Isn't that a Martin Luther King, Jr. quote? That's what I thought of when I saw your topic subject. I know Martin Luther King's subject was different, but it's the same sentiment. And I hear the same relief in your voice as you share your e,s. & h.
"I feel free to let him work his program and for me to work my program. I feel free to trust the process of recovery. I feel free knowing that I have choices that include not getting crazy headed, insane, or depressed when things don't go my way because... I am powerless over this A... drinking/drugging or not!"
Your working a good program Pfunk, and I'm glad your back on Step one with your new sponsor. Way to go! It works if you work it! You're worth it, so work it! And I think you are. Good luck to you.
Overcome
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I can Overcome all things through my HP who strengthens me.
That is great! I know for me I had to surrenderring at first was very hard but now I remember to do it all the time. Surrenderring to HP's time frame, the simplicity of this program, to the steps, and to minding my own business. The more I can surrender & focus on myself, the healthier I am getting.
Keep working it! Welcome to the road of recovery from other people!
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
It is beautiful! I LOVE the title of your post, I feel your joy! (((hugs)))
To me, working step one is a daily necessity... as I deal with traffic, while I'm at work, or standing in line at the store, I am powerless over other people, places and things. So, I don't think of working step one as "going back." To me, part of a spiritual awakening (step 12) circles right back to admitting powerlessness.
Things only become "hard" and "difficult" when I maintain my resistance. When I stay in acceptance, I feel the joy of trusting. "Free at last." Thanks for the inspiration!
-- Edited by glad lee on Tuesday 30th of June 2009 08:51:03 AM
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
What a great share, and it reminds me of a positive perspective with respect to Step One.... so many of us struggle with giving up (perceived) control, but when we accept Step One as the truth, it really IS a weight lifted off our shoulders.... To fully understand and accept the Three C's, we pretty much have to go through Step One to get there....
Thanks for the share Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Thanks for the inspiration!