The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
since i've started reading and posting here, i've been humbled and moved quite a bit. i am grateful to each of you for being open and honest and caring.
each day, i learn something new about this disease and how it's affected me. each day i have to give something new up to HP (a concept i'm still trying to get my head around) and grieve for yet another comforting illusion lost. i am scared that i'm going to look in the mirror one day soon and see someone who's more messed up in the head than i ever thought. i have always prided myself on being self-aware and "healthy" but this experience is burning those labels right off me. i am looking at myself with more honesty than i ever have before.
i wish more than anything that my husband wasn't an A, that i was never a codependent, that our marriage and selves weren't unravelling as they are right now but the more i wish this, the less i can heal. so each day i have to make a choice to heal.
anyhoo - to all of you, have a great Saturday night! i wish you all love and peace tonight.
Please try and remember where there is life there is hope. This disease is just horrible. Sometimes taking it one minute at a time is the only way to get thru. As you begin to heal. Minutes become hours and then days and so on.
Hopeless in a horrific place to be, I have been there..............Just go easy dear friend.
I heard this in a meeting once: you have to experience sickness in order to know health.
I know all the realizations are hard and discovering how much you can lie to yourself (or simply be unaware of) is a shock. What you're going through isn't fun at all.
However, it's only after you've realized you're sick can you work on getting better. You may come out of this a stronger, healthier, wiser person than you ever were before.
Or at least, that's what I believe. Take what you like, leave the rest!
Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation- some FACT of my life unacceptable to me and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly they way it is at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake; unless I accept life on life's terms, I cannot be happy.
I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.
Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation- some FACT of my life unacceptable to me and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly they way it is at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake; unless I accept life on life's terms, I cannot be happy.
I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.
Way 2 go, Jean....could not have said it better.....i had a time w/accepting...it was my boundaryless life rearing its head.....not wanting to accept *what is* over *what I wish* sooo i had to dig deep, get out those unfullfilled *wishes* and grieve over their not being met....let go the people who harmed me....dump em and MOVE ON....accept what i cannot change....pray each day for wisdom to know the only thing i can change is ME.......Right on, Jean
I too prided myself on being strong and self aware. I found it was my Achilles' heel. I too am realizing that I am not an the emotional superman I thought I was. Letting myself feel has been a long journey for me, and I am work in progress. I always thought it is weak to cry and hurt, but it's not. It makes me stronger, and prevents me from fallnig into the same traps I've setup for myself in the past. I'm happy you're here, you're not alone =)
