The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My daughter is back out with her 7 year old son. 32 years, 3 generations. is their an end in sight. I do not think so. I have to have hope without attachment, easier said then done. I like writing because I can talk to myself and not look completely crazy ha. I have written for 1 hour to different subjects and people, but I finally got it. Hope without attachment. I have to save my grand son and let my daughter decide for herself. yet still keep the hope that their is always a place in time, where she may decide for her to return to recovery. Hope is good for me, attachment is where the fear, pain, hurt, and anger come from. watching a 7 year old learning the definition of love is pain.
I have to stop now and listen to my higher power's words, not mine, my words are very limited. My higher power is unlimiting and always sweet and new to be, no matter how often I reject listening or how often I hear the same lesson. I always come back to know, I know nothing and thats OK.
What a wonderful, honest and open share. Thank you for posting.
Have you ever attended Al Anon meeting? If not, please do. You will find hope. You will find that there are solutions that will give you serenity. Only you can break your cycle. You cannot control anyone else :(. "Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me."
Keep coming and sharing,
Maria123
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Hi Kb! I'm in a similar situation with my daughter, who is now 41, and who has the sweetest little six-year-old duahgter (my granddaughter) whom I have agonised over for the past few years because my daughter has never been in a recovery program and is clearly passing on some of the stuff we all know doesn't work! It's heartbreaking to see yet another generation be affected by this insidious disease of alcoholism/codependency, but I have worked very hard to detach from this because I know I cannot "save" either my daughter or my granddaughter! All I can do is keep focussing on my own recovery, be as present and clear as I can be, detach,detach, detach from the craziness, and pray!!!!! And do a LOT of letting go!
Sometimes being honest and setting some boundaries can be helpful too. It surprises them that you are no longer hooking in to the games.
I can be grateful that by doing this I seem to have had a good influence on my two sons, who are both very active in recovery circles, and for that I am infinitely grateful! They are a tremendous inspiration for me too!
But 'save" anyone?--that was exactly what got me into so much trouble for so many years--thinking I could "save" my father from his debilitating drinking, and than later, my second husband! It very nearly sunk us all!
Staying close to one's own recovery seems to be the only answer. It's tough, because of how much we love our own family members, and WANT the best for them, but I'm learning that my higher power has a better plan for all of us, and that my daughter has her own higher power.
