If the lady continues to disrupt the meeting speak to your sponsor , and see what she says , or a trusted member of your group , perhaps your group representetive , GR. 
Your not responsible for the members in your group if they are uncomfortable its up to them to speak up .
If the behavior continues  and your GR does not address the problem attend a District Meeting and voice your concerns .

What a fantastic question to bring up. I was actually discussing something on a somewhat similar line at my District Meeting tonight.

Aa few weeks ago at my home group, two double-winners showed up (and after their shares, it was very obvious they had an agenda)... nothing wrong with double-winners at a meeting. Most of the time I love their perspective - so long as they keep with "Al-Anon Spoken Here".

Well, these two came with the sole purpose to grumble their discontent with not being able to serve in service positions above the group level. One of these people who spoke had me both surprised and then again NOT surprised, because I know this person's been in the Al-Anon program for a LONG time. (I'm talking 20 years, at least.) The "not surprised" part comes from my personal opinion that this person is a bit of a bully with their shares most of the time, and I've just about nearly stopped attending this person's own home group because this person's methods just raise my hackles.

I was very angry and upset after they both took advantage of our no cross-talk policy to hold us as a captive audience and sling accusations at "us Al-Anoners" for giving them the "crazy-making" scene with not being clear as to WHY double-winners cannot serve above the group level. There was a long tirade from one, giving us a political history rundown in "tolerance".

Very, VERY unpleasant meeting.

So, I was a bit flabbergasted after all that had occurred. I went through a range of emotions from hurt to anger to pity. Discussed the occurrence at length with my sponsor and then had some time to get clear with things. I had many questions and observations from looking through our Service Manual and our policies, taking the "principles above personalities" approach:

#1: The purpose of our group meetings is to share experience, strength and hope in living with/interacting with alcoholics and supporting the friends and families of alcoholics.

The "share" the dual-members supplied was not in any way, shape or form, in the interest of our group's common welfare.

#2: Members of other twelve-step programs are asked not to announce this in our meetings so we can keep our focus on our common problems.

The dual-members defiantly announced themselves as AA members (and continued to express their grievance with being discriminated against because they're AA members)

#3: Our most important member is the newcomer. In the interest of the newcomer all shares should stick to supporting the friends and families of alcoholics by sharing our experience, strength and hope.

We had two new-comers at our meeting the night of that episode. Neither have returned after that meeting thus far.

#4: My sponsor sent me a memo from the WSO in regards to the continuing dual-membership in service debate that clearly states:

"The dual member policy is a long-standing policy of the fellowship and is in accordance with Tradition Six. This is also in keeping with the spirit of the Conference Advisory Actions of Alcoholics Anonymous which stated in approving the guidelines for group separation of AA and Al-Anon in 1967:

The use of the word 'family' should be deleted from an AA group's name... officers should be either AA or Al-Anon depending on affiliation and new members be encouraged to stick to either an AA or Al-Anon group since they will get the most help by staying close to the group relating to their problems."


So, now that I'm clear that many policies were just trampled over, I feel I know if this should happen again, I have some solid reasons to discourage their tirade during the meeting - and to let them know they can feel free to discuss their concerns at a more appropriate time after the meeting, at our group's business meeting, or at the District meeting.

Now it's just a question of whether or not I'll have the gumption to speak up should it occur again. It'll be one of those spur of the moment things, but I know I'll be asking my HP to guide me, guide me, GUIDE ME. One thing I know is that if I have something to say, I want to be sure I can say it with respect. If I can't be respectful, then I need to wait until I can be.

On a personal level, I feel I may eventually talk with that person individually on a one-on-one basis (NOT as a representative of the group). I've grown tired of this person's bullying methods. But I'm not on a mission to hunt this person down and give them a piece of my mind, either. Just one of those things "when the timing's right" and only if I feel my personal boundaries have been overstepped.

In the meantime, though, I choose not to spend my days freaking out and wondering "ohmygod! is this person going to show up? What should I say????"

I've got NOW to live, and since that person's not sitting here in the room with me shredding apart my share here, I've no reason to get all antsy over it.

Finally, on a kinder note, I can observe these two people's behavior (the long-time member in particular), and realize that they're apparently at a difficult time in their own recovery - they're not well, and I hope some day they'll get better.

Sorry this was so long... Thanks for the opportunity to share.

I'm with Jerry and Abby on this one, your not responsible for the groups feeling or do you have to "take care" of the group. You can take it to your GR like has been said, or your District representative. I understand how upsetting it can be to have a favorite meeting and have it sabatoged by a controling member. My home group of 17 years has just recently got a double winner that has begun taking the alateen group to al-anon meetings and having the al-alateens chair in the meetings, with only one sponsor (her) to be there with the ala-teens. She likes to dominate the shares too and there is plenty of "cross-talk" that is going on during the meeting now. I talked to my sponsor (who was also the GR) and she said she had spoken to the District representative and they were going to talk to the Area rep. about the problem. It is very sad when one or two people feel like they have the "right" to "run" a meeting. All I can do is "Let go and Let God" I can't control the group and it has been reported to the proper people, so I've just got to let it go at this point.
I have found another meeting where "Al-anon is spoken here" and is not full of such sick behavior, I have to think of my recovery first. Both my sponsor and I have made the major change to having this other group as our home group. Sometimes I still go to the other one to see if things are still the same. As of last tues. they were. I doubt that I go back for awhile.

Java

Thanks to all of you for your wisdom. I do have several meetings I attend (usually 3 a week), so it's not like I'll be missing out on anything if I don't go on Wednesdays.

After I posted this last night, I went outside to do some reading and I started talking to God. I asked him to looks after her and point her in the right direction where He thinks she needs to be.

Then I realized that maybe he was doing that already. Maybe my meeting was the place that she needed to be. And who am I to judge whether or not someone belongs there just because she makes ME feel uncomfortable?

After that I decided that the next time she comes to a meeting, I will try to not judge her and just listen and offer support. I knew I probably wouldn't see her for 3 weeks since my husband has to work next Wednesday and then I'll be going out of town. Well wouldn't you know it, I found out this morning that they changed my husband's schedule and he doesn't have to work next Wednesday.

So it looks like I'll be making it to my meeting afterall.

Next time you attend your Wednesday meeting you might consider asking for the date of the next scheduled business meeting.  At the business meeting you might motion to have a few clear rules read at the beginning of every meeting so that everyone feels safe to share.  When there are bullies or barricudas (as I call them) in a meeting, some people are too intimidated to share, including me.