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Hello and Hugs, I am having a hard time today. I can just cry. It just can't be GODs plan for me to be married to an alcholic and not have any children. My doctor suggested he and I do invetro to concieve a child. Great...Just Great! It's his self inflected fertility issue. My problem. I'm tired and hurt. I can't keep going through the roller coaster rides anymore. He's getting healthy, but why am I still the one being punished.
Hello and Hugs, I am having a hard time today. I can just cry. It just can't be GODs plan for me to be married to an alcholic and not have any children. My doctor suggested he and I do invetro to concieve a child. Great...Just Great! It's his self inflected fertility issue. My problem. I'm tired and hurt. I can't keep going through the roller coaster rides anymore. He's getting healthy, but why am I still the one being punished. Sincerely,Tonya
hey Tonya...Hello and hugs!!!! I don't think it was God's plan, I see it as you made a choice to marry this guy and he is an A....I am sorry you are going through this pain....I don't think God "punishes" us....I think that when we do stuff *outside* of his will, then we gotta go through the consequences...and b/c life is not so fair and b/c other people can throw pain at us b/c of THEIR choice and freewill , things can get really messed up......Life is not fair....for sure, there is a lot of pain.....don't know why it just IS..that is why i TRY to work steps 1,2, 3....and turn it ALL over to my God....when i go on my will, i am for SURE gonna mess things up....I think he has a good plan for all of us if we REACH out for it....
I am reaching out now...things are not perfect, but WAY better than they used to be.....I am sorry your not feeling so good today....prayers for peace and serenity comin your way........PEACE be with you, Rosie
-- Edited by rosielightshines on Wednesday 17th of June 2009 10:22:37 PM
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this - I truly am and I know how you feel.
My husband and I had to deal with infertility for many years - the problem was with me. I blamed myself all the time, but he never once blamed me. The one thing he always said was that the problem could just have easily been his and not mine.
I never could understand why I was being "punished." I wanted to be a mom more than anything.
Now (through adoption) I have been blessed with a crazy little boy and I couldn't imagine having any other child but him.
Might I recommend a group called RESOLVE? They are an infertility support group and were a huge help to me many years ago. perhaps you can find a group meeting in your area. www.resolve.org
The one thing that a lot of people who have dealt with infertility think is that once they eventually have a child (via fertility treatments, surrogate, adoption, etc.), THAT is the child they were meant to have.
I don't think that's about Gods plan for you Sincerely. I think that is more about consequences of choices. I do know that a cousin of mine and his wife went thru hell trying to get pregnant after their first child. Years I mean!! and then they kept doing what they were supposed to be doing plus seeking assistance from her doctor and then....A Son (not invitro) and then again a daughter (which they were not expecting. My question to my cousin was how do you not expect a child while having unprotected sex? He didn't know either LOL.
Take the stress off...turn this over to God as you understand God, relax and keep doing what nature says to do in the manual. There might be fertility problems and there might not.
If I thought I was being punished by HP, after all I've been through I would have to think I was a really rotten person. It makes no sense to me to believe that HP has a plan for me and then turns around and punishes me if I don't get it right. Therefore I believe neither.
Stuff just "is" sweetie. We can choose how we would like to internalize it. Please choose not to feel punished. HP is the source of all good things, not angry wrath.
Chin up, good things will come :) Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I don't think you are being punished Either... I think you are being led to new things that sometimes can be scary and cause fear.. Sometimes I know when i want something Sooo Bad, and I can't reach it, Some how i get were i need to be.. Just not a the Pace "I" think it should be.
I would have to also say Hand it Over to HP, and be Gentle on Yourself...Line up your boundrys, and what you want, and then just start off in that direction. If we are focusing on the future, we are not in the Now...One Day at A Time is all I can handle...
My Moms friend was in her Mid 30's after trying for 10 years to have a baby, medically, phyisically, and every way known to man, thousands of dollars later... She adopted a Son that was a baby, and within the next 4 years she went on to have 2 "Natural" Children of her own. She was told that the "Stress" that she put on herself, to make it happen could have even easily been the cause of it...It is when HP wants it Not Me...
With me... I ALWAYS wanted Children as well, "LOTS of THEM" I lost one when I was 20, one of the hardest things I think I ever had to go thru..Hated myself for a long time, but I was young and the father didn't want the baby or me! So being mad at Me wasn't good enough so I turned it over to disliking God for a long time, because my God KNEW how bad I wanted it... Well I shut down for along time, inward and out.. 4 years went by, and I was preganant again, only this time, I had a guy that loved me just it was Not the baby's father. I loved him as well, but we had been such good friends we were afraid of screwing up Something that had always been great.. (3) Years Later we married with me knowing that he could not have anymore Children, but I did not marry him until i knew that I was OK with that. Now I am nothing but blessed that God made me wait... I didn't like his process but I have a Son I can Spoil with Love, a Husband I adore, and I NEVER in a million years thought that "I" would one day be able to say that...Its all about Handing It Over... :) Hang in Friend...
As seen above, there are other options, and many of babys out there, that would love nothing more then to have a Mom that loves them, and always wanted them.
Take what you want and leave the rest :) In Love & Prayers is were I will keep you Jozie
