The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My sponsor suggests keeping positive thoughts at the front. As someone who has been stuck in a negative spiral for so long I can find that a daunting prospect. I had some crazy idea that people who seemed happy just were incredibly lucky and everything fell in their lap. Now I see it is intense work to keep at it to be positive no matter what. I struggle tremendously. I have been seriously depressed in my lifetime so I have to really work on not going there.
Right now some things in my life are great others are at a standstill. Of course I want it all and I certainly can do better! I prioritize but doubt myself.
I could make lots of things in my life a catastrophe right now, my therapist left for good reasons I have not been asigned any one else yet. I'm unemployed working part time and really poor. I live in a horrible situation with some addicts around me. I detach on that daily. I do better some days than others. I seem to have to stand on my head to get some things done, getting a dentist appointment next week is a huge task, first I had to get denal insurance and try to save some money for the co pay. I felt like I was moving through molasses. Now I have huge fears that I'll never be able to get any treatment!
I am grateful daily for al anon and how much it has helped me to survive and move on. My social life is at a standstill but my health is the best its ever been. The work to get to that place has been incredible and I am still on 4/5 doctors visits a month. I have to work to get to some kind of a balance and really am in the dark how to do that.
I'm willing these days in ways I never was before and I see a light and I work towards it but I am not there yet.
Really that is working the program....My life is kinda up - middle - not so cool, but ya know?? I just do what I can and surrender the rest
Thankfully I have SS and a PT job, boss is bully, but hey!!! I am grateful for the $$
I have my needs met...no guy in my life, LOL, b/c I am holding out for what I DESERVE, not what is just "there"...the "fixer uppers"...
My health is ok except for my ptsd and this back is on another spasm.....I figure its b/c I just have not learned that i can relax ....its like i am on hyper alter all the time.....my childhood was like being in the eye of "9/11"..so yea, I was on major terror alert and don't know how, now, b/c of subsequent abuse to RELAX......SO, I am working on that
seems that when I think I am making a huge breakthrough, I see yet another step 4 "goodie" I gotta work on.....so glad I am thinking progress not completion...
I can relate to how you feel.....I just give my teeth over to God...can't afford the med. insurance I got now, and its a rip off...major medical...$6500 deductible...I gotta be half dead b4 it kicks in.....however, I am GRATEFUL I an NOT healf dead....
So yea, I drag out the grateful list, and seems hp gives me a bit more to be grateful for b/c I am doing the grateful thing
Thanks for your honest uplifting share. I always wanted my life to be perfect so then I could start to enjoy it. AlAnon taught me that I could use the simple tools of prayer and gratitude and find joy even in the difficult circumstances.
