Just thought I would update everyone on my situation!

For the most part I am doing pretty good actually. Much better than I thought I would be. I'm staying with my Amom and Abrother. Never thought I would stay here again, but I just take it ODAAT, and use the Alanon tools I have learned.

My brothers gf also lives here. I often see them argue and it reminds me so much of me and my A and they have only been together 3 months. So when I see that it reminds me that it's not something I want for me and that is why I left.

I have emailed a couple of housing places to see if they can help me at all last week; no replies back yet. I will call next week if I don't get a reply.

Someone told me about a work from home job they recently started! It's legit and the pay is GREAT, but only 20 hours a week. So I applied for it took my time and let it go to HP.  I got an email yesterday and they said I look like I could be a good candidate and they want me to test for the job!!!! Testing is about 10 hours and I have one week to do it. It starts Tuesday!!! So, im going to study do the best I can and leave it up to HP. I also look daily for job postings online and through the work force center. There isn't much at all in this area. Many are getting laid off still, businesses being sold, closing...

I have seen my A about every other day the past week. For the most part we have gotten along well because of all I have learned in Alanon. Before he goes to work he usually comes over and we all go to the park or do something they kids like to do.  He is still trying to be controlling and manipulative, but I can see it now when it happens. There are other men around here who just hang out outside doing nothing and my A gets very jealous for some reason. I do talk to these people, but I have boundaries they are no better than my A and I HAVE learned my lesson. Sometimes he will just show up before calling and the first time this happened I told him this will not happen again. If you chose to come over you MUST call first. He will sit and ask me which one I am sleeping with and I will just say just because Im not with you doesn't mean I am sleeping with them. Before he leaves he will try to hug and kiss me if others are outside.

Now that I am in recovery I just keep thinking how much he has lost his mind. The things he does and says are completely insane to me and he thinks I am the crazy one. But I can't make him think any differently and I am not going to waste my time trying. I have better things to do.

I think in a way I have learned to forgive him. I haven't told him this; it's not his business. I didn't do this for him. I did it for ME. Once I was able to forgive him I felt better. In the past couple months I have really seen what this disease has done to him. I think for quite some time I saw it but didn't see it...if that makes sense. Like I was in denial.

He still isn't feeling good from all his drinking. It's really hurt his health. I can't help or save him. When he complains of sleeping often, pain or anything like that I just simply say it's your choice to go the doctor or not to and drop it.

I have been coming to this site for 6 months and I can really tell that I am progressing. I don't think I would have come this far without all of you. I remember when I first started I came for a week thought I heard enough to live a happy life and quit coming back till things got bad again. I have been back every week since then. I realize it's a life long thing that I need to do for ME. I can hardly believe how much better I feel and if when I first came someone told me I would feel like this in 6 months I would not have believed them. Progress not perfection! I do slip somedays still quite often, but I am starting to see much easier this and stopping and changing my attitude.