The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well it's been one week since I found you all. When I came home to an empty house. Of course there was a huge fight and lots of crying and begging(that was my role). We had a pretty decent week after that. I little bumpy on Sat. because I still wasn't over the "incident" of Tuesday.I immediately left the situation and came here. We went on a day trip Sat. for our 18th anniversary.It went ok and "only" 1 beer with supper. I ordered ODAT and it arrived today, just in time for the empty house again. So I read some and instead of eating I exercised and called a girlfriend. Well he's home, it's been about a 6 hour "tour" of local establishments. I am determined not to DO ANYTHING! I do feel like my blood pressure is sky high. I feel like crying sooooo much. But I will take heart in the fact that this is only about the 3rd time in 18 years that there wasn't a fight and I'm not pleading with him. IT IS VERY HARD. I come straight here now when there is turmoil within. Thank you all for being here. I can never leave the house until he is in safely, yes he always drives. Now I think I will reward myself with a visit with my 2 1/2 year old grandson who is only a few blocks away. A little of the wonderful baby joy goes a long way to heal most anything. Again Thanks OXOXOXOX whatif
I work at a daycare centre, and so often, I was so glad to go to work - a few of those baby hugs just healed the sore spot on my heart. One thing that I often remember, is that when I stopped yelling, at least there was a lot less unpleasant noise around the house. Even if no other benefit comes from it, there's always that. My yelling never did any good anyway - as I've said elsewhere, all the yelling and nagging and tears never stopped one beer from going down the hatch.
Hi whatif - Good for you! You've taken a giant step forward - not fighting and instead coming here. We've all found that no amount of nagging crying or begging changed anything. But sometimes a change in our attitude brought about some change - and if nothing else - at least a peaceful house.
Yes, I do want you for a friend. You sound so in need of a good friend. you sound so much like I did a few years back. Yell, cry , scream, plead, and on and on. I do not know how it really happened but one day I looked at my self in the mirror and did not like what I saw. Right there I decided that a bad word would never come out of my mouth again. When one realizes that they do not like them selves any more it is scary. At least it was for me, In a few days, even the children noticed. One asked if I was sick? Oh yes, I thought but I am going to get better. Now I amnot saying the drinking did but you know what, I really did. And one of the things that helped me was being able to come to a place like this and find friends that did not yell at me or I at them. The calm was electrifing. Take care of yourself, love yourself and keep coming back for the friendship you will find here.
