The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Yesterday I phoned my sponsor. I was at my aH (really at myself) for having got sucked into the emotional games. And I was feeling a little vindictive.
A few days before he had invited me and our son to his place for a family gathering he was hosting. I told him that it would be inappropriate for me to go, but if he wanted our son to attend, I could drop him off for a few hours. Then, in my vindictive state, I began thinking, "you know, if he wanted our son there, he should plan his family gathering on a scheduled day he is to have our son". But I didn't know if I was "right" or not, so instead of calling aH and laying that on him, furthering the emotional drama from hours before...I called my Sponsor.
She advised that many family gatherings do fall on Saturdays as that is normally most convenient for people. Also, I need to stop offering solutions to aH. She said if aH wanted son there, he needs to call me, ask about it, and make specific arrangments. HE needs to do that, not me. I explained that we still didn't have a specific plan in place, she said okay, let him make the plan. She said, "my guess is he won't, but lets hope he does".
Ok. So I get off the phone and truthfully Im a little miffed, I mean, ok, she may know A's in her life, but MY aH is different, right? He's gonna call. He's obviously gonna call and make arrangements with me...I mean...he's gonna call....what does she know really?...I mean....he's gonna call.....
He didn't call. I dropped the ball. And the ball dropped. He didn't call.
A real lesson for me...letting go...and accepting my reality.
And part of my reality is that my sponsor knows things that I don't.
Another part of my reality is that I have 4 dozen delectible chocolate cupcakes that my boy and I need to frost for our church picnic tomorrow!!! Off to the grocery store...
Rora
-- Edited by debilyn on Saturday 13th of June 2009 07:55:20 PM
hey it happens to the best of program "worker bees" and yea it was great you calling your sponsor....a lot of folks don't.....my sponsee consults with me on pretty much all major things.....its easier to prevent that to fix.....
i am sorry he did not call....you had hoped....*expected* maybe a bit and yea, its disappointing..i like the way you focused on taking care of you and the boy and those cupcakes are my favorite flavor....have a good one!!!
yep yep sponsors,,,,,sheesh. I never had one formally. Have a dear friend from MIP for so many years now and he sets me straight all the time. And I do for him too.
A preciouis friendship.
Glad you called her, and you are doing great. Just the fact you were aware of how it came out.
You paid payed? attention! Next time you will do even better.
Hugs and please slide over that cupcake and coconut frosting pleasseeeeee
debilyn who cannot keep that stuff in her house as she would eat it all.
(the cupcakes are heavenly...made with perked coffee to enhance the chocolate flavour and a dark chocolate frosting!! Im rather proud of myself for having stopped at ONE!)
Program is about sharing Rora!! If I send my snail mail address can I get one of those dark chocolate cupcakes with chocolate frosting? Gawd I could just yap like a dog right now for a fresh steak bone. And with fresh brewed coffee yet!! Oh Geeeez! We have a local member here who almost always bakes something delectible before each meeting. I am soooo addicted to sweetness especially if it has anything to do with choco..... My mouth is watering.
Oh and he didn't call. Thank God he didn't both of you might have a few less bruises. And learn your lessons well there will come a day when you will be asked for guidance. It will be your time to "know".
I've got some goo goo cluster ice cream in the freezer and a diet plan to smash.
(the cupcakes are heavenly...made with perked coffee to enhance the chocolate flavour and a dark chocolate frosting!! Im rather proud of myself for having stopped at ONE!)
Rora
oooooh your making me druel......YUMMMM I wish you could send me a few, LOL......HOW did you stop at one?????? LOL
yep yep sponsors,,,,,sheesh. I never had one formally. Have a dear friend from MIP for so many years now and he sets me straight all the time. And I do for him too.
hey after I got dumped/abandoned by my sponsor, I just *share* with a strong recovery mate or two....yea, it works....all it is is "new output"...Like new ideas...new thoughts to pondor....I doubt really if I'll get anythign else then what I am doing....CO-sponsoring with a couple of good mates.....and yea, I got one who really, like me, "cuts to the chase"...LOL.....I do the same....
I got this old guy, on line I have had for all my recovery...he is a doll!! i can write him in pvt and he is the wisest, gentlest human i have ever seen.....i really love him to death, and i kinda co-sponsor with him, come to thinkof it....now that I have something that may be of value to offer him, LOL
WE ALL NEED SPONSORS! THEY MAKE SENSE WHEN WE DON'T! I HAVE BEEN TOLD THINGS A LOT THAT I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT WERE SO OBVIOUS. SHE HAS A CLEAR HEAD WHEN MY HEAD IS WHO KNOWS WHERE. I THANK MY SPONSOR FOR HER GUIDANCE & EXPERIENCE. KATHLEEN
at my aH (really at myself) for having got sucked into the emotional games. And I was feeling a little vindictive.
He didn't call.
Off to the grocery store...
)