The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
the 3 A's...Awareness, Acceptance, Action. With the awareness that my dry drunk husband's contolling nature is not getting better and that he is increasingly verbally abusive, even though we have been seperated four months, he still does not acknowlege his part in the demise of the marriage. I had hoped for a reconciliation and healing, but I am becoming increasingly aware that this is not going to happen.
I have reached a point of acceptance, that he is just not capable of a mature relationship at this time. He is more involved in blame-shifting and taking other people's inventory, rather than his own. He is not working a program (AA) and thinks he can do this sobriety stuff on his own. I have come to accept that is his decision to make.
I have decided after much prayer and meditation about this, that it is time to take action. I have talked to a lawyer about divorce. I can not go on living this way any longer. This is my decision to make. My husband is not taking the decision very well and keeps calling me and wanting to "hook up". It is time for me to take action and set boundaries that are good for me. This includes no "hooking up" and keeping it simple so that we can have an amicable divorce.
I have a committee in my head that wouldn't stop. So, it came to me that if they (myahsober, my co-worker, etc.) were not in the room with me why was I wasting the effort and blocking that direct line with my HP? So when I obsess I say the Serenity Prayer, I start focusing on my own action. It helps.
LIVE & LET LIVE! I AM LEARNING TO LET PEOPLE DO WHAT THEY NEED TO DO & STAY OUT OF THEIR BUSINESS. I AM STILL VERY CONTROLLING & NEED TO LET GO & LET GOD, TOO! I AM BASICALLY LEARNING TO USE ALL THE SLOGANS. ONE DAY AT A TIME! KATHLEEN
