The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It has been such a long time since I have visited this site, and even longer since I went to a face to face. My husband has been out of work for about 3 months. I have managed to cut extra expenses, on stuff that I enjoy, but that aren't nssasary, like getting my nails done, and sending the laundry out. I have been working with an injured foot, while money bags is spending about $100 a week on beer at the distrubutors. Plus he is out at the bar tonight. I will say that it has been at least a month since he went to the bar and spent money, but I am so hurt, it has been a very lonely life lately. Coming home to a dark apartment, with dirty dishes piled in the sink really set me off tonight. I don't know how I put up with him and why. He spends so freely on himself, and then carries on about how sorry he is that he can't afford to take me on vacation. I am glad I came to this site, I really need to re-connect, and get back to face to face meetings. Thank you.
Welcome home liliana, you're not alone anymore! Glad you came back to this site you will find the "help and friendship we have been privileged to enjoy". I am so sorry you are going through this hard time now financially. Just remember his is a cunning, baffling and powerful illness. Please find a f2f meeting near you as soon as you can, it will be of great benefit to you in your continued recovery.
Glad you came back....That is the first step in getting the focus back onto you....Remember you are powerless over what he does, so i would grab onto my sponsor, get into the meets and pull out the steps and begin work----ON ME!!!!
I remember when my 1st A lost his job....he drank, of course and I just let everything go....we lost the apt....(now mind you if it was a house, i would have done something to keep the house) but anyway, i didn't enable him....i just let everything go...we ended up having to live with his mom, who thought it was MY fault that her A son would not WORK...i had my little bookkeeping business and had my own checking account and I REFUSED to buy his cigaretts (i don't smoke) and i refused to support him....so we lost our apt...our cars were paid for, mine ended up blowing up, but i bartered with this lady and got a cute little pontiac and i was holding my own, so to speak....he was furious having to go to his mom for $$ and danged she GAVE IT TO HIM...I was hoping by shutting down he would get a job and straighten out...
now , looking back, i am proud of me for not supporting his drinking, but expecting him to change???? with no AA?????? now i see the futility of that.....i can only take care of me..
now i don't know your situation...I own my own home now..paid for...MINE!!! maybe that is why i am not so keen on finding a new mate b/c i worked hard to build up my credit to over 800 points....cute little house paid for.....cute little ford truck paid for....naaaw, i am not lettin any one take me down again
i dont' know what your situation is, like i said, but the bottom line is we can only take care of ourselves.....i wish i had known about al-anon back in those days...i would have spared myself a lot of misery then and in the future b/c i believe in this program and the folks whom i share with.....
Life on life's terms - sucks sometimes as they said on the AA forum. I feel the same way tonight. So alone. They say that being lonely is not feeling connected to the universe. This is a good place to start with our friends at Alanon who have been there too.
Nancy-----They say that being lonely is not feeling connected to the universe. This is a good place to start with our friends at Alanon who have been there too.
Rosie--- I like that--- also feeling lonely is that hole in my soul that goes way back...its not so bad, but oh when i was first here, i was sooo lonely.....i never was the "world" to anyone.....i never meant the universe to anyone....so i had this hole.....as a baby, newborn....brand new from the factory and NOT wanted or loved.........it left a hole......i realize that only my maker and me can fill that hole that they (parents) dug....... i pray and i meditate and i just let myself FEEL......the universe is of LOVE......i really enjoy when i am connected and I can feel the SOURCE of love...........
Hi Liliana, it is great your reaching out, and you realized that going to meetings is a great start.
I hope you do. We need each other.
Hate to think of you sitting there alone. You have asked yourself some very real questions. I am sure you have before.
What do you want for you?
I can tell you a friend of mine went through this. Next thing you know they lost the house and everything.
Thank goodness with some tries and going back, she finally found her foundation and got out in time with her plan.
Sometimes it is easier to make plans when we have financial resources, when we can see ahead that we won't lose our animals, gardens, kids, whatever.
It took me five years to rebuild Lilian. Just now I am seriously gardening, painting my interior, putting neat tongue and groove up and remodeling. For years I wanted to do this,but could not move much.
Anyway I sure hope coming here helps. Remember there are meetings here if you want to come in.
Please keep coming back and hang on tight to hp and ask hp to hang on tight to you. It works. love,debilyn
