The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It's funny how the whole time since EXABF and I split that all I could see was the reasons we should be together. Now, especially now, after seeing him in Walmart and not being overrun by out of control, obsessing feelings I am seeing things so much clearer.
When I called him out for not speaking to my son at all, his reply was that my son seemed uncomfortable, and said he never saw my son before checkout-I actually watched him look STRAIGHT at my son and turn his head.... (way to NOT take responsibility for your actions EXABF!) Then he apologized and again made reference to my son being uncomfortable (again excepting no responsibility for HIS actions or lack there of) That experience was like the slap in the face I needed to REALLY open my eyes and I thank HP for putting me there. You can do pretty much anything to me (obviously) but don't you dare mess with/hurt my son or I will tear you up:)!
Then there was the lying/etc he did telling my BF that I would not allow him to see my son after we split up and EVERY instance he told her about was a LIE/MISTRUTH that was meant to make him look ok and me be the "bad guy". Then the email last week to my other BF about how he would not add her to his page out of respect for me(of course I would see her there if I looked at his page:)) BUT it was ok for her to email him (of course I would know nothing about that) so in other words it's ok to be a sneaky person.
Just all these things flying at me left and right lately and me really seeing perhaps for the first time that even though he has 10 years sober and in the program, he is still not healthy in many areas. Perhaps seeing for the first time that maybe I wasn't the one to blame for everything that went wrong.......took me awhile to get here, what a ride, but I am so grateful to HP today for putting me in that Walmart (which I HATE going to by the way-lol) on the day that EXABF was there, and allowing me to see with open eyes what it is that He has been wanting me to see all along.
What a long and winding road this has been.......and it's only the beginning:) Thanks for letting me share...... Shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
I agree!!! HP set that one up for you too see how good you are doing in your program.....ExABF don't care but WE do......I am glad this kinda gives it closure hey????
I wait to have my eyes wide opened by HP. They just lie. My AHsober does it about the most minute things. I think he lies so much that even he can't track it. PS I don't like going to Walmart either. Something very lonely about it.
